tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2818530164509770564.post5992025229629488221..comments2023-05-13T06:02:54.865-05:00Comments on Taste and See: Sunshine, daffodils, and happy dust, or lack thereof.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15049651554892312704noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2818530164509770564.post-19871314451587992082012-09-04T11:24:03.083-05:002012-09-04T11:24:03.083-05:00I'm so glad! A good therapist makes all the d...I'm so glad! A good therapist makes all the difference and there's so many emotions involved that having another person to help wade through is fabulous! :-) We finally stopped therapy a year or so ago...mostly because Lizzie (who was 10 at the time) was talking about how marginalized she was because she didn't have an iPod or a DS...how all the other kids have them and she wasn't fitting in at school because she didn't have them! We've explained to her how our family values conversation, spending time together, playing outside, etc. We rarely watch TV but I feel that's even better because it's "communal" and not something that has ear buds that allow you to be isolated from the world. Every time I think we should relax our "strict" technology rules (by worldly standards) I see another family out to eat with all the kids hooked up to devices rather than communicating and my moment of indecision vanishes. (We finally got Lizzie an iPod shuffle at Christmas with certain rules...and do you know how many times she's lost it for listening too loudly or in the car or when we're out as a family?!?!?!?!? I have it more than she does!)<br /><br />Anyway, we figured that if Lizzie had worked through enough of the divorce and custody suit junk that she was down to needing therapy about lacking an iPod that perhaps her therapy need was not so major! Not that she might not need to go back at some point, but how fabulous that she was complaining about "normal" preteen stuff!<br /><br />You are doing an incredible thing...the biggest mission field is the one you serve in your own home...though it's a lot less glamorous than being a missionary in another country! But then you've brought in two little boys who desperately needed a stable home with lots of patience and love and that is just incredible. It's easy to love an innocent baby, much more difficult to love a child with a history not of your own making.<br /><br />Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17602773388220503573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2818530164509770564.post-31529974377395449382012-08-30T20:59:37.349-05:002012-08-30T20:59:37.349-05:00Hi Jen! Always good to hear from you! And you ca...Hi Jen! Always good to hear from you! And you can always give advice - you certainly have the experience!! <br /><br />We actually do see a therapist, and we love, love, love her. She has been a key part of me holding on to my sanity more once. :) <br /><br />I agree - it's important to get support when needed, and I don't want them to have a stigma about getting it either. Our therapist is a believer, but is very good at the actual therapy part, as well as understanding our shared faith. We've found a mixture of play therapy and talk therapy, with family sessions thrown in for good measure, to be the best for us. :) <br /><br />Glad you chimed in!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15049651554892312704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2818530164509770564.post-26270926039875185982012-08-30T17:23:39.998-05:002012-08-30T17:23:39.998-05:00I rarely give advice because EVERYONE is so eager ...I rarely give advice because EVERYONE is so eager to give advice...but have you tried therapy with the boys? All three of my stepchildren have had extensive therapy (i.e. over 3+ years) and it really helped for them to have a separate person to trust and talk to and process their complex feelings. We've always used a trained play therapist because boys don't really like to sit and talk...but they're more apt to talk if they're DOING something...<br /><br />We've never actually used a Christian play therapist. In some ways, it seemed to complicate things even more. The therapists we've used have always been sensitive of our faith while focusing on the children's issues and processing through them. Lizzie's always been a fan of the school guidance counselor, too, and I think it was her comfort with therapy that made her willing to open up to the guidance counselor...because she didn't have a stigma about therapy and getting the support she needed. And, while it's important for you to be there for the boys, it gives you a break and gives them exposure to another person they can confide in and trust.<br /><br />Parenting is rough but acquiring children rather than birthing them is a whole different level of roughness. They've had a whole existence that's not been with you and not been your choosing for them.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17602773388220503573noreply@blogger.com