Well, I had my radiation appointment today. It went better than I expected! Dave went with me, which was nice for two reasons. First, it was nice to have someone else to take in the information and try to remember to ask the right questions. Second, I got a flat tire on the way to work this morning, so I couldn't have driven myself anyway.
First, let me say that I really, really like my radiologist. A lot. I feel like a human being when I'm in his office, and while that may sound weird, it's means so much to me. We talked for quite awhile, about side effects, cancer, drugs, etc. Then we got to the BIG question. Tattoos. He said he for sure wanted me to get them, that it was just standard. Then I had a complete breakdown. Tears and all. I tried so hard not to, but I pretty much just lost it. He was so nice through it all. I know that some of you may probably wonder why in the world three little grey dots were such a big deal to me, but somehow, they just were. There have been SO many things out of my control in the last few months. So many things that I've given up, or have just been taken from me. I could go through the whole list (like I did today in his office....), but after 9 scars that I couldn't control in the last 5 months, adding 3 more dots was just about more than I could handle. So....to cut the story short, Dr. I said I could get the sticky things! To tell you what a big deal that was, the person that did the CT scan said I was one of 2 of Dr. I's patients she'd ever seen get to have the sticky things. And he's been a doctor for a long time.
The CT scan was super weird. It wasn't a whole tube that I had to get stuck in, it was shaped more like a giant donut. But that's not the weird part. You stuck in a hospital gown, and you have to lay on this bench thing, both your hands have to go above your head and hold on to these handles, and they strap your feet down. It's to help you hold still, but the combination of it all felt really strange, and kind of vulnerable. I was still nervous enough, and felt weird enough, that I asked a bunch of questions. I wondered if there would be a point where I would drive them crazy, but they were really nice.
Anyway, I have a followup appointment next Thursday to make sure they have all the right places mapped out, then I start actual radiation on Monday the 14th. I am looking forward to it, because the sooner I start, the sooner I will be DONE!!!
In other news, my hair is starting to grow back!!!!! It's super fine, and it's only a little tiny bit, but I am ecstatic. It looks like the fuzz on a peach. About the same length too, but I'm just thrilled to see anything on my head! I look at it all the time, and just smile. No eyelashes yet (and I am officially out. No eyelashes whatsoever) or eyebrow regrowth, but I am hopeful that it will be soon.
I'm still super tired, and sore from my last chemo, but I am slowly feeling a little better. It's so encouraging just knowing that I don't have to go back for chemo this Friday! In previous rounds of chemo, I always hated knowing that just when I was starting to feel better, I'd have to go back in to get more drugs. I can't think of words to describe the relief I feel whenever I think about not having to get chemo this Friday! I'll just keep feeling better and better.
Also, I have been thinking about the peach fuzz on my head so much that I have now made myself hungry for peaches.