Sometimes Traveling is Hard.

Traveling has changed for me a bit over the years.  I remember the wonderful time when Mom pretty much did it all.  Then, I was single and could be packed and ready to go in about 15 minutes.  Thirty-five if you include my shoe and makeup bag.

Then I got married.  Adding in time to pack Dave's supply of pop definitely took the process up to about 45-50 minutes.

Then we added a dog, and packing time increased to an hour and change.

Then the children came.  We added HOURS to the routine, and don't even get me started on the level of chaos and confusion that became part of leaving for a trip.

And now that we've added a baby......I can't even begin to estimate.  All I know is that it takes YEARS off my life, and adds approximately 7 additional grey hairs to my head. (Yes.  I said additional.....sigh.) 

And the actual time on the road?  Stops used to be easy and fast and trips could go by quickly.  And now?  I can't even talk about it.

But a few weeks ago, we hit a whole new level of chaos in traveling.  We were on our way back from my cousin's lovely wedding.  It was snowy, and we were worried about the weather and roads getting home.  Having found out about a Caribou at an upcoming exit (thanks, mom), we decided to make a quick stop to get gas, food, and coffee.  Drive throughs, kids staying in the car.....badda bing, badda boom.

In and out, that was the plan.

Except that when we stopped for gas, it woke Clark up.  So he started screaming.  And kept screaming all the way through pumping gas.

Next we ran to Wendy's.  It was supposed to take approximately 3 minutes.  Instead, it took about 10, apparently chicken nuggets are a slow item to order.   Clark was still screaming, and through the sad cries, Dave asked Andy (in the way back of the van) to get him a bottle of pop from the cooler bag.  While doing so, there was a crash, and Andy ended up trapped under the stroller.

I have no idea how that was possible.

But, after FINALLY getting through Wendy's, we whipped into the Caribou parking lot to get Andy out from the stroller.  But, instead of going in through the back of the van, Dave decided to go in through the side of the van, over the top of Isaac, who was lost in a book and didn't want to stop.

Then there was a yell, and a large exhale of air, and I saw that Dave's feet had slipped out from under him and he had fallen on top of Isaac.  Not to be distracted from his book, Isaac continued to read while being squished like a taco.

After getting his footing, Dave still tried to go at it the same way, Isaac still wouldn't quit reading, Andy was still trapped under the stroller, and Clark was still screaming. 

Thankfully Dave met with more success that time, and finally, Andy was unpinned, Isaac unsquished (still reading), Clark was starting to settle down, and Dave offered to still get coffee.  I declined, since this stop had already seemed to take forever.

However, Dave - still flustered from the whole experience, took a shortcut and turned into the Caribou drive-through, cruising right past the ordering mic, and around the corner....  where we were stuck waiting behind other people who had actually ordered.

For the love.

But after my blood pressure came back down to a normal range, Clark stopped crying, Andy was back in his seat, and Isaac was still reading, I just started laughing.  Uncontrollably, with tears coming down my face.  My children weren't sure if I was mad or sad or happy, or had just lost it altogether, but eventually they started laughing with me. 

I may dream of the days of easy traveling, but I'm pretty sure I won't see them again for years. But, I'm wondering if these won't be the memories we all love reminiscing over someday.  For now, though, I vow to never be stuck in a Caribou drive-through without getting coffee again. 

Ever.
 

4 years and counting!

Blessed doesn't begin to describe how I feel right now.  It's been 4 years and 2 days since I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

I fought my battle with cancer with wonderful doctors, nurses, and techs guiding my care, and amazing friends and family holding me up in prayer and support, not to mention the oodles and oodles of delicious meals brought to us.  We were not only never hungry, we were never alone.  God sustained us and gave us an abundance of grace for each and every difficult day.  I learned to find joy and rest in the rocks and hard places.

At the end of my battle, we had a party.  By God's grace, I kicked cancer, and I kicked it hard.  I was so thankful, but God's grace and goodness just continued to overflow in my life.  He is so faithful!

I never thought I'd be able to have kids.  And yet God brought not just one, but two of the most amazing boys I've ever known to my home and entrusted them to me to be their mom.   There have been good days, bad days, and even some awful ones, but my word, I never knew I could love a child like that.

As followups continued, I had some scares.  But I promised to praise God no matter what, and even so, he has allowed continued health.  I don't deserve it, but I am so grateful.  He is good, no matter my circumstance, and I WILL give thanks, but sometimes, God just makes it so easy.

And then.  My word.  This past year, I had the shock of my life when I found out I was pregnant.  I never thought I would experience that, and I had come to terms with it.  But God is so gracious, so loving, and he loves to bless his children.  Those blessings do not always come in the form of easy things, or times that feel good, but he is so, so good, and I am absolutely humbled by the blessings he has put in my life.

This past September, I gave birth to one of the 3 most beautiful boys in the entire world, and I lost my heart all over again.  I never knew I could love three little people this much.

And now, 4 years after life felt like it was starting to crumble down around me, here I sit.  My two bigs are playing games while my tiny one naps, and I'm here, fresh from the doctor's office, having received yet another bill of GREAT health.

I am beyond grateful.

I will extol the Lord at all times;
    his praise will always be on my lips.
² I will glory in the Lord;
    let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
³ Glorify the Lord with me;
    let us exalt his name together.

⁴ I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
    their faces are never covered with shame.
⁶ This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
    he saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
    and he delivers them.

⁸ Taste and see that the Lord is good;
    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
⁹ Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
    for those who fear him lack nothing.
¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,
    but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. -Psalm 34:1-10

Naps and such.

Occasionally, a giant ellipses is needed to sort of catch up on life.  Consider this post to be such.

On my last post, we were just starting school, and I was extremely pregnant.

...

And so our life as a family of five has been wild and fun.  My two older boys have become wonderful big brothers, and my littlest one's smiles makes all the exhaustion worth it.  Seriously, I can't even remember what a full night's sleep is like. 

One of the cruel tricks of life is the imbalance of sleep and the desire for sleep.  Right now, for example, I'd do about anything for the opportunity to nap.  Such opportunities are completely wasted on this little one. Just wait, kid, someday you'll miss these chances.

Just the other day, I tried to put him down for a nap.  I tried to tell him it was nap time.

"Wait, you want me to do what?"

"You say you want me to SLEEP?"

"Haha, that's funny."

"Oh man......Can't.Stop.Laughing!"

"Ok, I give up........."

Mom, what are we doing this afternoon?

Such was the opening question from one of my boys the other day.

Not sure where this was going, but assuming it had something to do with playing outside, I easily responded, "Not much.  Why?"

"Well, since we have free time this afternoon, I was thinking we could go down to the shelter and get a couple of kids to bring home."

I took a second to digest that.

He continued.

"We have plenty of room, Mom.  And those kids need homes.  Please Mom, can we?  Please?"

I didn't immediately know how to respond to his request and help him connect with the reality that it's not as easy as picking up a dog from a rescue center, or getting a new cat, without crushing the spirit of the request.  

And my word, I loved the heart behind it.  Carefully, I told him that there is more of a process to adopting kids, to help make sure that the kids go to good homes - processes that are intended to protect them.  But I encouraged him to continue to pray that God would bring the right kids to our home in His perfect timing.

God has placed within the souls of my children a heart that is broken for kids who need homes.  I love it, I'm challenged by it, and I'm blessed by it.

Merry Christmas, from our family to yours!

 It's been a busy year for us!  So much has happened, and time has flown.  It really does seem like this season of life contains the longest days, but the shortest years.  I have to say that it sure doesn't feel like 2012 should be nearly over, but here we are.  Here are a few highlights of our year.



In January, we were still reveling in the fact that we had just been able to adopt Andy at the end of the December 2011.  It was a month of adjustment and time spent together.



In February, we decided that a mini-van would both be spacious since we all agreed that more kids would be welcome.  Though I inwardly groaned at the idea of having a van (and outwardly a few times, too), we found a van we liked in Chicago (I use "like" loosely) and fun when we spent some time there as a family.  We got to see the Bean downtown, and Navy Pier, and eat Garrett's popcorn and Giordano's pizza.  Yum!



In March, Andy turned 9, and we celebrated with lots of fun and a massive Cars 2 cake made by mom.



In April, Schoney Piano Studio hosted the last piano recital, and closed for good.  I really miss teaching, but it took a lot of pressure off of our family for me to be more available.



May brought Isaac's birthday, and my brother's college graduation from ISU.  Between the two occasions, we did lots of celebrating!



June was a whirlwind of weddings.  It was so much fun to watch my best friend marry the man of her dreams, and it was fun to be a part of it.

My little brother got married a week later, and I'm thankful for my new sister in law and the way she compliments my brother.  It was also a really fun time for the kids to meet more of their extended family, which they enjoyed a lot.



In July, we went to Illinois to spend time with Dave's side of the family.   We spent time out at the family farm, followed by time in Chicago visiting museums and, of course, eating more pizza and popcorn.



Before we realized it, it was time to go back to school, or in our case, head to the kitchen table.  We started homeschooling in August, and it has been quite an adventure, to say the least!

We've gone on field trips, done science experiments and art projects, and read lots of books.  We're thankful for the option of homeschooling.

September, October, and November flew by exceptionally fast.  We enjoyed lots of football - watching Iowa State beat Iowa, watching the Bears play, and cheering Isaac on at his flag football games.

We spent the fall enjoying time together at the Apple Orchard, picking pumpkins, learning about the elections, and spending time together.

Many people continue to ask how I'm doing health-wise, and I am always touched that people remember, and feel blessed by their caring.  I'm happy to report that despite a recent scare this fall, I am completely cancer-free still, and will pass my 3-year mark of surviving cancer in just a few weeks!

We are truly enjoying spending time together during the Christmas season this December, and treasuring our reason for celebrating.

One of my kids told me a couple of weeks ago, "Mom, this will be the best Christmas ever, because it'll be my very first Christmas as a Christian!  Now I'm really excited about the baby in the manger!"

It was amazing to hear his wonder and awe as he spoke of Christmas.  And truly, we have an incredible  reason to celebrate:

Source

May you feel child-like delight when you think of the Baby in the Manger this season!

The week I thought Cancer was back.

This past week, I went in for my regular mammogram.  I was actually feeling pretty calm - I mean, it's been close to 3 years now since The Bad News, and things had been feeling pretty good.  Add to that the fact that I've been doing a good job taking care of myself - cutting out added hormones where I can, eliminating soy, taking vitamins, and losing weight - it adds up to good stuff in the cancer world...or at least, it's supposed to.

But the mammogram tech said that she needed to get another picture, and said it was no big deal.  Then, they had to take me back to the ultrasound room, "just to get a different view."  Then, they kept coming back for more and more pictures, until The Radiologist came in to take a look personally.

My heart sank.

And in that moment, I knew that, once again, I had the choice to trust God or deny His power and sovereignty.  I once again found comfort in the fact that, though this was certainly taking me by surprise, it was no surprise to God.

As The Radiologist was looking things over, she kept making concerned noises, until she finally said, " Unfortunately, I see something that shouldn't be there.  I see a lump.  It might not be cancer.  But I don't know, and we need to check."

I wanted to throw up.

When I first heard those words three years ago, I remember being overwhelmed with the fear of the unknown.  But this time, I understood what cancer could mean.  I knew the pain, the trauma, the agony that came with that word, both for me, and for those close to me.  And I didn't want it back in my life.

They managed to get me in for the procedure to check the lump the next day, but it still seemed like a long time to wait.  And in that time, I wrestled with the fact that I might, once again, have cancer.

Truthfully, I thought I did. 

And somehow, I became ok with that.  I knew the road would be hard.  I knew it would be painful.  But I also knew that I had grown to thank God for the cancer the first time, and if He decided to use it for His glory a second time, I was prepared to trust Him for that.

Not my will, but His, was my hope.

And in the meantime, God gave me a couple of opportunities to share my perspective on cancer when seen through the lens of a child of God.  I'm so thankful for those conversations.

I went in for my procedure, and I was so blessed by the nurse.  She was so very kind, throughout the whole process.  I made it through, and went home to recooperate.

And wait.

The waiting felt long.  I wasn't sure if I would hear back on Friday or Monday, and I so hoped for Friday.  I knew that the earliest that the clinic would get any lab results back was 11am.

I kept my phone very close by. 

Just after 11:30, the phone rang, and my mouth immediately went dry.

It was The Radiologist.  I found it awkward to go through small talk, but I tried my best. 

"How are you?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she replied. "How are you?"

I felt like that was kind of what the whole phone call was about, so I just waited.

"Well," she started again, "It's good news." 

I finally exhaled.  She gave me a lot more of an explanation, but truthfully, I retained very little of what she said.  It'll probably be in a report somewhere anyway.  But I'm cancer free! And I'm so very thankful. 

God could have allowed the cancer to come back, and He still would have been good.  I would still have acknowledged His faithfulness.  But I am immeasurably grateful that God, in His goodness and grace, has allowed me to stay cancer free. 

But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
    for he has been good to me.
           Psalm 13:5-6

I'm so thankful to be a survivor!

Longest days, shortest years...

Is it really close to the end of October? 

That's what the calendar is telling me.  I've heard that parenting years are full of the longest days, and the shortest years, and I'm here to say that I'm feeling that a lot lately.

There are days where I look forward to bedtime, and wonder if I'll make it.  Then, when those little angels (ahem) are asleep, I'll glace at the calendar, and wonder who pushed the fast forward button on life, and how it's almost November. 

I've been thinking about a few different series, and am hoping to get back to blogging more regularly again.  But the last month or so has been extremely full with one of my top priorities: parenting my beautiful, challenging, wonderful, exhausting children.

There have been many giggles, and tears as well.  But that's for another post.  In the meantime, here is a photo of our little family at a local Halloween event.  It was freezing, and you can't see Isaac's costume very well under Dave's coat (he's a surgeon), but we had a great time.

Even on those long days, I love being a Mama. 

How do I love thee? Let me count the miles...

It's not possible (in my opinion) to go through what my kids have gone through and not have some feelings about it.

And sometimes the feelings get to be a lot.

And I really mean a lot.

But boys are just so different than girls.  They apparently have limits on how much they really want to talk things out (why is that??  Talking things out is just wonderful....). But, whether or not I fully understand why they work that way, it's part of how they're wired, and I can choose to work with it or fight against it.

So, when the emotions get to be too much, we get physical at our house.  We work at punching the air or a pile of pillows, we have the kids jump on the mini-trampoline, we kick a soccer ball around, we hit the trails (after checking the weather now...), we just try to get moving.

Today, one of the kids was having a pretty rough day and feeling pretty angry.  So, the whole family went for a 3 mile walk.

Wasn't enough.

So the Angry Kid and I went for another 3 mile walk.  That's right, I walked 6 miles tonight to help the Angry Kid work out all those feelings.

I should also add that I had already worked out this morning.

Oh my word, my legs hurt tonight.  But it was such a good time of getting emotions out.  It was a good time of bonding.  And I'm glad we did it.

We started mile 1 with an angry, angry kid, with everything boiling just below the surface, about to erupt.  By mile 5, he had cooled down enough that he picked flowers for me.

He's never done that before.

I was so touched, that he wanted to pick another one for me.   But, by that time, we had passed the field where he found the first flower, and all that he could find is the weed on the left, but he gave it to me so proudly, and about beamed when I put them in my hair.

 So, mile by mile, we're walking out the feelings.  And even though it's not nearly as convenient or understandable to me as talking endlessly, I wouldn't trade the time together, or the precious weed bouquet for anything.

How Isaac reminded me to persevere through waterfalls

This past week has just not been a normal week.  Truly, it hasn't, and I'm thankful, because if every week were like last week.....Well, I would just lose my mind.

Last week we discovered ants.  In our room, the boy's room, in the piano room.....We are not dirty people.  It's true that the house is a bit messier right now than I prefer, but having ants just makes me feel gross.  And a bit jittery at night.

Then the fridge broke.  And while I'm very willing to see the silver lining, let's face it - in the middle of that silver lining was a great big cloud.  And I didn't like it very much.

Also, my washer and dryer have been out of commission for over a week.  A week.  And while our neighbor has been kind enough to let me use his, it has been majorly inconvenient.  I used to use laundromats on a regular basis, but with laundry piling up in a family of four, I'm just not prepared for that.  However, one thing I always insist upon is that every member of the family have lots and lots of underwear, because I worry about having laundry emergencies.  I wish I were joking...but at least we have no shortage in that area.  (ha! The worrying paid off!  Because I needed more reasons to fuel that fire...)

Then on Saturday, we came home from eating pizza after a long day of being super productive, and something felt damp about the air.  We didn't pay much attention to it, though, and got a movie out for family movie night (Veggie Tale's "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything - jealous, aren't you!).  I went to make popcorn, when all the sudden I turned around, and saw that there was a waterfall coming out of our light fixture.

I wanted to cry.  Then I decided to take pictures instead (because that makes sense, in an emergency situation, right?).  We all jumped into action, and started getting towels to soak up some of it, and buckets to catch the rest of it.  It was awful - it kept spilling over and splashing me in the face as I tried to get things under control, and the water just kept pouring out.

Things were getting pretty frantic - we were not panicking, mind you, just frantically taking action, and Dave ran down to the basement to get more old towels.  I heart a lot of shouting, and found out we had a small lake in the basement.

For the love.

Ants in the house.  Fridge on the fritz. Washer and dryer out of commission.  A waterfall from my light fixture and now a lake in my basement?

For those of you who had a very boring week, let me just take a moment to say how very, very jealous I am of you right now.

Anyway, I just wanted to stop and cry.  It all seemed a bit ridiculous, and a lot to figure out in a very short period of time.

Backing up a little, on Friday night, we went on a walk and the kids rode their bike.  Isaac hadn't had a lot of experience riding bikes prior to being our son, so he's still learning, but really likes it.  At the beginning, everyone was really excited to be out, and ready to run - particularly Yarbo.

It's fun at the beginning, when everything is going well.  It's fun to have that burst of energy, when all you feel like doing is going forward and moving further down the path.

We went for about a mile and a half, and everything was going smoothly and we were having fun.  Then, we hit a big curve in the sidewalk while going downhill, and Isaac went flying off of his bike and laid on the sidewalk all crumpled up.

I found out how fast I could run.

Once I picked him up, he just started screaming.  He was scared, and had the wind knocked out of him (well, all the wind except what it took to scream), and then saw his palms and a few of his knuckles were scraped up, and a few places were bleeding, and just lost it.

Once he calmed down, though, we talked about the difference between something being scary, and things being ok.  It was ok that he was scared, but now we could see that he was ok, even though his hands stung.

I asked him what he was going to do next, and he looked at me, and said, "Well, I'm going to get back on my bike! It's the only thing to do!"

And he rode the last mile and a half home. He took the hills a bit more slowly, but he made it, and I was so proud.


I am so very tempted to allow myself to feel overwhelmed by the past week or so.  And there have been moments where I have given in.  This past week has felt like a big curve in the path, and I've felt frustrated.

But then I remember Isaac jumping back on that bike, and I am reminded to persevere.  To thank God for the trials because we thank him in every situation, and to have joy as we walk through these kinds of times.

Fast forwarding a bit, we will be fine.  I don't like all this stuff going on, but as I told Isaac, you can not like things, and still be ok.


We got the lake mostly mopped up, all the buckets of water taken care of, and we bailed out the water in our basement.  My best friend and her fiance happened to be in town, and instead of helping them like I had planned, they instead came over with her parents and helped us figure out the problem and get a temporary solution.

Turns out we had a hole in our roof, and sub-par drainage had been installed in our window well.  Oy.

But my friend's dad even came back today and fixed our roof, because he is just amazing like that.

Tonight, as I was putting the kids to bed, we were talking about what an unusual week it had been, and how so many things had been different than the norm.  I asked them if they could think of one thing that had been the same, though, and it was a sweet time together as we talked about how even though things had felt kind of crazy, we figured it out together -as a family.

It was a lovely note on which to end a somewhat-awful week.  I am thankful to God for sweet moments like that, and will be trusting Him to continue on in persevering through figuring out the rest of the details this week.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good;

blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!"

The Silver Lining of a Broken Refrigerator

This morning, Dave mentioned that his can of pop for work didn't feel as cold as it normally does.  Dave is somewhat (completely) finicky about his pop, so I didn't think too much about it, until I went to get eggs for breakfast.

I had great plans for a delicious breakfast this morning.

Unfortunately, Dave's statement about his pop also applied to the eggs. And eggs that have been only slightly cool for who-knows-how-long seemed like a dangerous choice for breakfast, which led me back to the refrigerator, where I discovered that it was not cold at all.

My heart sank.

Not only had I just completed a major grocery shopping trip last Friday intended to last us two weeks, but we had tons of Easter leftovers as well.  Not to mention the awesome breakfast I had been planning on, involving milk, eggs, and cheese.  Little cinnamon rolls, too, but that's beside the point.

I frantically started pulling all of the salvageable food out of our fridge and into cooler bags, while the kids stared, open-mouthed.  In the back of my head, I heard little bells go off that this could trigger a response from them.  In the past, they've been in situations where if things went wrong, it was serious.  It wasn't just an inconvenience, it meant that they could likely go without things they needed.

However, in the midst of trying to figure out what to do with breakfast, how to pack their school lunches, and trying to save what I could of two week's worth of groceries, I told them that we would talk on the way to school, but they needed to save their questions and get ready for school first, even though in our routine we always have breakfast first.

"But Mom," Isaac said, "I know this is probably a question, but we haven't had breakfast!  What are we going to do?"

I told him not to worry, and sent him upstairs.

A few minutes later, they were back downstairs, dressed and ready for school (in record time, I might add!) and wanting to discuss everything again.  I still didn't have time to chat if I was going to get everything figured out in time to get them to school, and I was thinking a bit about how much trust I could ask of them - did they need reassurance beyond, "It'll be ok" right then, or would they be able to trust my word?

Isaac had a worried look on his face as he once again started asking about breakfast.  I could see he needed more reassurance, and was about to forgo packing the veggies for the freezer to talk to him, when Andy stepped up to the plate.

"Isaac," he started.  "Has Mom ever let us starve?"

"Well, no!" Isaac responded, somewhat indignantly.

"Well, I doubt she's going to start now.  Don't worry, she'll figure it out.  She just needs to focus like she tells us to do when we're working on a problem.  She's not going to let us starve."

Those were big words of trust coming from a kid who's had so many people let him down in his life. And my heart melted, much like my previously frozen soup.

We are incredibly blessed.  A broken fridge is a major inconvenience, frustration, and expense, but by the grace of God, it's not life-altering.  We can afford to go get more milk.  And to hear Andy reassure Isaac that I would find a way to take care of them in the middle of something that felt unsettling to them was a blessing to my heart.

Step by step, day by day, we're growing closer.   Andy beamed with pride when I later told him how proud I was of him for being such a good big brother.  And Isaac smiled pretty big when I complimented him on not panicking, but just asking questions.  Those are big steps for my boys.  And I'm a proud mama, even if my fridge is still broken.

Happy Easter from our family to yours!

Just a few months ago, we celebrated the birth of a baby. And now, we celebrate that baby, grown to be a man, who died on the cross and rose three days later to demonstrate his great love for us.

From Luke 24:
1 On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. 2 They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, 3 but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. 5 In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? 6 He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: 7 ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” 8 Then they remembered his words.

In the middle of chocolate bunnies and Easter egg hunts, I would encourage you to take a moment to reflect on the amazing story of Easter. It doesn't get better than this!

The Fellowship of Our Rings

Before they joined our family, our kids experienced a lot of chaos and broken relationships, and the lack of security that comes from those things.  Ultimately, we want them to find their lasting security in the knowledge that Jesus will always be there for them, but we want to model Christ's love for them in the way we interact in front of them.

Growing up, my parents flirted in front of my brother and me all the time.  And even though I'm sure I rolled my eyes and said it was gross sometimes, I liked knowing that my parents loved each other.  Knowing that the two people in charge of taking care of me had a good relationship made me feel safe.  And for whatever it's worth, it was also a good example to me of prioritizing my marriage.   It must have worked for them, because decades after they said "I do," they still flirt like a couple of teenagers.  And now, instead of rolling my eyes, I hope Dave and I act just like that in 20 years.

We are constantly telling our kids how important they are to us.  We tell them with words, we show them with our actions, we do everything we can to make sure they know.  But one day, Andy came downstairs and said, "Do you know what Dad told me?" 

"What," I asked?

"He said he loves you more than me.  But me and Isaac are next on his list, after God, then you, so we're still really high."

I thought about it for a moment, and tried to gauge his reaction. Isaac came down soon and joined in the discussion.

"Yep," Isaac confirmed, "Dad said you're #2 Mom.  But since it's God that's in the #1 spot, I thought you wouldn't mind.  And, Dad said everything else in the whole world comes after us.  So it's ok that he loves you more."

"Plus, you guys kiss sometimes, and that's gross," Andy added.  Not sure how that made a difference, but it did to him somehow.  Apparently we flirt sometimes like my parents used to do.  Makes me proud.

We don't have the world's most perfect marriage, but we really do love each other, and want our kids to know that we're committed to staying connected.  So we took it a step further. 

We kind of insinuated that special powers come with our wedding rings.  Sometimes we'll let our rings touch, and then pretend we know what the other person is thinking.  Often, when I already know that we're heading to the store to pick something up, we'll touch rings, then I'll close my eyes and think for a moment, and look at Dave, and say, "Hey! We're going to Menards to check out their free-after-rebate sales!"

"Why yes, yes we are!" Dave will say.  And we attribute it to the power of the Fellowship of Our Rings.   On some level, I think they know we're kind of kidding, but I don't think they always know what to think when we touch our rings together, then can complete each other's sentences.  

We hadn't mentioned it in awhile, but it became clear they hadn't forgotten it when we were out to eat the other day.  We were standing in line ordering, and Isaac wouldn't stop moving my hand around.  Not knowing what he was doing, I looked down, and found that he had Dave's ring finger in his other hand, and he was trying to get our rings to touch.

We want them to feel safe and secure, knowing that their parents are committed for the long haul.  We may not have everything figured out, our marriage isn't perfect, but I think our kids are getting the idea that we love each other an awful lot.  

And in 20 years, I hope that Dave and I still enjoy the Fellowship of Our Rings even more than we do now.  I plan on flirting with him until we're old and grey.  I'm a blessed woman, to be able to parent two kids that I love with my best friend.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day - the real story

Think Saint Patrick's day is just about parades, leprechauns, clovers, and the unrestrained consumption of adult beverages?

Think again.

I posted this article last year, and it's still just as good to read.  Saint Patrick's day has changed so dramatically over the years that it looks nothing like it was intended.   The real story behind the holiday includes bravery and courage, and a boy who grows into a man of honor.

Click here to get the real story!

Enjoy the day!

Time for Gardening!

Last year, I started some seeds in March, and while it was therapeutic to what was really bothering me at the time, it wasn't exactly....successful.   The garden itself ended up being great - as a learning experience, as a good way to be outside, and as a source of fresh clean produce.  But the seeds that I sprouted indoors were never hardy enough to survive outside, despite my best efforts at following all the garden blogs I was reading.

Because we accidentally had wimpy seedlings, we had to buy a lot of starter plants, which was much more expensive than if I had been able to start seeds.  Especially since I had already bought the seeds.

This year, I'm trying a different approach, called winter gardening (although it's supposed to be 78 degrees outside today, so I'm not sure how "wintery" it will really be....but it's March, and that's when it's supposed to be started.

I started reading through different ideas, and found two different sites that recommended this idea of winter gardening (Click here and here if you're interested in checking them out).  

It was really fun to do this project with the kids.  They had all kinds of questions about how the mini-greenhouses worked, and while I felt fairly inadequate as a science teacher, we talked it through, and they seemed satisfied with my answers.  For now...

They helped me choose some of the seeds to start, and thus we ended up with quite an assortment.  We'll probably do more of them today, and keep going until we're done.

I don't know what it is about gardening, exactly,  that I love so much.  Somehow I find it so relaxing, and yet energizing, all at once.  I like feeling like something I'm doing is providing for our family in a tangible way, and I like knowing that the vegetables and herbs grown are fresh and nutritious.

Ok, I guess I do know what I love about gardening.

I'm so excited to see if this style of gardening ends up working for us!

I'm back.

People said that life would get busy with kids.  And boy, were they right.  Over the last couple of months, we have been moving at a speed that still kind of makes me tired if I think about it too much.  There has been so.much.stuff. going on.

We have had some tough days of parenting.   Days like that are inevitable, but it has been a little draining to be at a loss for the "right" answer so often.  More often than I'd like to admit, I've wondered if I really have what it takes to do this whole "parenting" thing.  Then I hear God's voice in my heart, saying, "I called you to this, and I'll carry you through it."

But one thing is sure; that "this too shall pass."  We knew that when we followed God's call to adoption through the social system, we would have kids who would have tough days.  Even tough weeks.  Or months.

But even if we'd had our kids since birth, I think the same thing would be true.  I'm fairly certain that I had years of being quite a dilemma to my poor parents.  The only difference between me, and my parents, is that they had all the answers (seriously.  It was so frustrating as a kid to have parents who really did know everything.  How did they do that?  And why wasn't that gene passed on to me??)

And yet in the middle of what has honestly been some tough times, there have been really sweet times too.  And I've missed blogging.  So, I'm back.  I'll share the tough times with Thing 1 and Thing 2, as well as all the fun stories that I've missed sharing. Because my kids can be hilarious.

Here's a recent family photo:

And a slightly more realistic picture:

I'm not actually sure which photo I like better. The first was supposed to be our "nice" picture, but the bottom one feels more real.  We don't really look put together, but that's how life is -goofy, funny, and unposed.  And that makes the photo a "framer" in my book.

I'm excited to get back to blogging more regularly.  And I have some ideas for a couple of new series coming up that will keep me more on schedule.  One is going to be on health (specifically about soy), and one is still in the works about interacting with people who have adopted.

Stay tuned!

2 years and counting!

It's so strange to think that, as of today, it's been 2 years since I was diagnosed with cancer.  It feels like a lifetime ago, and yesterday, all at once.  It was an extremely painful time, yet it's a time I've come to look back on with thankfulness.

I could go into the details of that day, or rehash the year that followed, but honestly, I mostly just want to say that I'm incredibly thankful.   It's been two years, and after a recent trip to a few of my doctors (you really collect a bunch of them when you get something like cancer!), they say I'm in great health, doing well, and though they'll keep checking on me for awhile, they have no concerns.

It's incredible, really, to think of how God has blessed my life.  By his grace and mercy, I have beat cancer, and now on the other side, I have a wonderful, beautiful, full life.   And it's one I hope to never take for granted.

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Psalms 34:8.

Merry Christmas!

It's been quite a year. A lot has happened, and instead of trying to write a really long Christmas letter, filled with all the little tidbits and what-nots that have gone on in our house, I thought I would a "Christmas Special" blogpost instead.  So, welcome to our Christmas letter -enjoy!

We started the year by finishing our training to to become certified to be adoptive parents, and by February, had gotten our paperwork completed and accepted, and began a not-so-fun game of waiting!

After what seemed like a really long time, we got a phone call about a little boy named Isaac!  We were completely filled with joy, and spent the next several months getting to know him as he became part of our family.

I got to celebrate my first Mother's Day as a mom!  We were still in transition mode, so we kept things low-key, but the card I got will be treasured for the rest of my life.

Yarbo turned 3.  Not too momentous, but we did have fun making dog treats for him!

We adopted Isaac on July 15th, and have given thanks to God many times for giving us such a precious addition to our family.  [adoption day details]

We took a trip to New Mexico and Colorado, and it was fun to travel together as a family, and fun to see more of our family as well!

When we got back, Isaac started 1st grade.  That day turned out to be quite a day, because as soon as I got home from dropping him off for his first day, we got a phone call about another little boy that God had planned for our family!

We met Andy, and fell in love.  It became very clear to us that God had given our family another very special gift, and we have loved him so much.  His adoption will be finalized soon, and we are incredibly thankful!

They love being brothers, and even though they are often asking us when we can have another child join our family, it has been such a blessing to grow together as a family of four.

In between having new children to enjoy and love, we have been busy!  We have been trying to finish our basement, which adds a lot of time and details to our schedule.

My piano studio has been going well - I have such great kids!

Dave recently changed jobs, and is now working as a contractor out at Pioneer.  He's still getting used to the change, but expects to enjoy the job a lot.  The more I learn about his job, the more amazed I am at how smart he is, and how very good he is at what he does.  He is well-respected in his field, and I'm proud of him for how hard he works.

Stay tuned for more on our family - life is always changing, and we are thankful to God for all the blessings he has given us!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Wow, it's been awhile.

Oh my goodness.  It has been a long time.  In the last um....however-long-it's-been-since-I-last-posted, a lot has happened.  And there are exciting things going on in this house.

You'll have to wait for following posts to find out more about the exciting stuff going on around here, but here's what's been happening lately, in as short of summary as I can manage:

A lot.

For a slightly longer summary:
We had our first Thanksgiving as a family of four.  Andy looked over at me during the meal, and said, "Oh.my.goodness.  There is a LOT of food.  Is Thanksgiving here always like this?  This is awesome!"  We loved having family join us, and it was a special time together.

We have been working on finishing the basement.  Contractors have been working on our basement too, and I seriously cannot keep up on all the dust they caused (please, for the love, could you properly tent with tarp if you are EVER in my basement?  Just sayin....)

I have been ridiculously sick.  I had the flu, followed by bronchitis, and really didn't have time to be out of commission for that long in the middle of December.  I mean, time to myself is nice and all, but not at the expense of EVERYTHING ELSE.  I was sick for about 12 days, and am finally able to laugh without collapsing in a fit of coughing again, which feels lovely.

We've been getting ready for Christmas.  So.much.fun with 2 boys in the house!  We've been making candy, decorating cookies, setting up Nativity scenes, reading Christmas books, and making presents for people we love.   It's been so fun to see them excited to celebrate Jesus' birthday!

So that's our life lately in a nutshell.  We've been busy!

Nutshell source :)

The day I was not ready for.

It came anyway.  And, I am proud to say, I (mostly) saved my meltdown for the car ride home.

He was just so cute this morning! And I kept thinking, "When in the world did I become a mom of a first grader??"

Oh, right.  July 15th.  About a month ago.

Just Sign on the Dotted Line

Isaac and I were in his room playing the other day, and as he looked out the window into the backyard, he made me smile.

"When I'm big," he said, "I'm going to live in the house right behind us so that I can just walk right over whenever I want."
"That way," he added, "We'll see each other all the time, and I can still help you cook!" 

Later that day, when we were talking, I asked him if he remembered telling me he'd live right behind us.

"Oh yes!" he replied.
"Ok, now I just need you to sign an agreement so I can hold you to that when you're older,"  I joked.
"Ok! I'll sign," he said.  "Because I really do want to see you every day when I'm big." 

Every time that kid comes even close to frustrating me, before I know it, he melts my heart into a big puddle all over again.

Now I need to go find a piece of paper and a super-permanent pen....