Wednesday, January 8, 2014

4 years and counting!

Blessed doesn't begin to describe how I feel right now.  It's been 4 years and 2 days since I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

I fought my battle with cancer with wonderful doctors, nurses, and techs guiding my care, and amazing friends and family holding me up in prayer and support, not to mention the oodles and oodles of delicious meals brought to us.  We were not only never hungry, we were never alone.  God sustained us and gave us an abundance of grace for each and every difficult day.  I learned to find joy and rest in the rocks and hard places.

At the end of my battle, we had a party.  By God's grace, I kicked cancer, and I kicked it hard.  I was so thankful, but God's grace and goodness just continued to overflow in my life.  He is so faithful!

I never thought I'd be able to have kids.  And yet God brought not just one, but two of the most amazing boys I've ever known to my home and entrusted them to me to be their mom.   There have been good days, bad days, and even some awful ones, but my word, I never knew I could love a child like that.

As followups continued, I had some scares.  But I promised to praise God no matter what, and even so, he has allowed continued health.  I don't deserve it, but I am so grateful.  He is good, no matter my circumstance, and I WILL give thanks, but sometimes, God just makes it so easy.

And then.  My word.  This past year, I had the shock of my life when I found out I was pregnant.  I never thought I would experience that, and I had come to terms with it.  But God is so gracious, so loving, and he loves to bless his children.  Those blessings do not always come in the form of easy things, or times that feel good, but he is so, so good, and I am absolutely humbled by the blessings he has put in my life.

This past September, I gave birth to one of the 3 most beautiful boys in the entire world, and I lost my heart all over again.  I never knew I could love three little people this much.

And now, 4 years after life felt like it was starting to crumble down around me, here I sit.  My two bigs are playing games while my tiny one naps, and I'm here, fresh from the doctor's office, having received yet another bill of GREAT health.

I am beyond grateful.

I will extol the Lord at all times;
    his praise will always be on my lips.
I will glory in the Lord;
    let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me;
    let us exalt his name together.
I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
    their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
    he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
    and he delivers them.
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
    for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
    but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. -Psalm 34:1-10

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