Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I might actually miss radiation.

Let me me explain.

As you all know, music is really important to me.  As you may guess, I got that from my parents.  Both of my parents are musically talented - in fact, my dad's whole family is musical.  Some of my earliest memories of family reunions include my dad, his brothers, and my grandpa singing, "On the Jericho Road," acapella. I have always loved that song because of that! At our wedding, one of my most treasured memories (aside from the whole pledging our lives to each other thing), was my dad and his brothers singing our benediction, "The Lord Bless You and Keep You." 

When I was younger, on car trips, we'd often sing as a family to pass the time.  While some may find that slightly nerdy, those are some of my favorite memories from time spent in the car.  It was on one of those trips that I learned what has become my favorite hymn, "I come to the Garden Alone."  My family would sing it all together, and my dad and I have often sung it as a duet.

Here are the lyrics:
 
I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear falling on my ear
The son of God discloses.

And He walks with me and He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known.

He speaks and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet that the birds hush their singing
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing.

And He walks with me and He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known.
I love this song - the imagery of God and me, spending time in a quiet garden, as "He tells me that I am his own."  Lately, radiation has become my garden.  Don't get me wrong - I hate how radiation makes me feel.  My skin is burned and very painful, and I'm always tired again.  But, 5 days a week, I have 5-10 minutes where I'm by myself in a room, and I have to lie completely still while the radiation machine rotates quietly around me.  I have been using those minutes to talk to God - to lift my friends and family up to Him, to thank Him for His faithfulness, and to simply feel joy in His presence.

A few months ago, I started praying that God would help me to be content where He has me - to not wish away time, but instead to trust that He has me exactly where he wants me, and thank Him for it.  In that radiation room, God is teaching me to bloom where I'm planted, and to use that time to the best of my ability.  I will celebrate being done, but I am thankful for the time that I've had in that room.

I'd stay in the garden with Him
'Tho the night around me be falling
But He bids me go; through the voice of woe
His voice to me is calling

And He walks with me and He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known.

I don't know what God has next for me, but I am excited to find out.  In the meantime, I have 7 more days of radiation, so if there's anything I can pray for you about, please email me and let me know - I'd love to pray for you!

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