I finished my shots for this round, which means I only have 3 left. My sharps container is getting pretty full, so it's a good thing I'm almost done!
I know I'm getting close to the end of chemo. It just doesn't feel like I'm quite close enough. I know that pretty soon I'll start feeling better, but it's still hard to see past the pain right now. Even so, on May 21st I'll have my last round injected. By the end of May, I won't be in nearly as much pain. By the first week of June, I'll probably start getting at least a little energy back. But right now, it's only May 11, and June still seems so far away. At this moment, it's hard to see past the fact that it's 1am, and I'm in so much pain I can hardly stand it. But, this too shall pass.
I have been meditating on a few verses over the last few days - one of which I've included below. I have fallen in love with the Psalms all over again - they are so rich in comfort, and are filled with such strong words of trust. There are times when I simply don't have the words on my own, but I can go to the Psalms and pray through the verses I find there.
Psalm 18:1-3, 28-32
I love you, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies....
...You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.
With your help I can advance against a troop;
with my God I can scale a wall.
As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
Here are a few prayer requests:
- That God would give me strength to get through these last few weeks
- That the pain would be manageable
- For Dave - it's hard for him to see me in so much pain and not be able to "fix" it