I might have lied to a lady in Panera the other day.
Or maybe I didn't.
I still can't quite figure it out.
We were in Panera eating lunch the other day after church, and enjoying time as a family. At the table next to us was an older lady with a gentleman who, I presume, was her father.
As we finished up, Dave got up for something, and the kids started clearing the table, which left me as the only one still sitting. The lady started talking to me about how nice my kids are (why thank you!), and how cute they were (she was really quite wonderful) and how well behaved they had been (by this point I was beaming). Then she asked a very innocent question:
"So are they brothers?"
It was an odd moment. I mean, was she asking if they were biologically related? Was she wondering how closely their DNA resembled each other? Did she somehow know they were adopted and want to know their history?
I briefly considered my normal answer of, "they are now!" but then realized that would be more confusing because she didn't know us, and I quickly realized she would have no idea they were adopted.
I tripped over my tongue a bit as I answered, "Yes."
It's funny the things that go through my mind when people ask me questions about my kids, and the many filters that my answers go through as I consider how to answer them.
But the real answer is that they are brothers. And how they became brothers is just a detail. And no more a necessary discussion point than how biological brothers became brothers. Family s family.
I love talking about adoption to people who are genuinely interested. I really do! I often get emails from people who read this blog and then have questions about adoption, and that's one of my absolute favorite parts of having this blog (so please email me if you are interested in adoption!!).
But to the stranger in Panera who probably just liked kids and was looking for a bit of pleasant conversation, I'm starting to just answer questions more normally. Yes, they're brothers.
It later occurred to me that she may have just been asking if one of them was my son, and the other a friend. Probably a more likely scenario thought than her probing into their DNA.
In fact, she seemed to easily accept my answer, because her next question was, "So are they twins??"
Nope. Just brothers.