Wednesday, December 22, 2010

"Peace Peace" - a beautiful song and a deep desire.

I've found it hard to put into words all that I've been thinking about lately.  I couldn't even figure out how to blog about it all, and I've told the Internet a lot of things this past year.  But, I was listening to a song in my car today that really hit home.  It's Peace Peace, from Sara Grove's album O Holy Night (an album which  I believe I can safely give the title of "Favorite Christmas Album of 2010" to).

You can listen to the song for free by clicking here (lyrics are copied below, at the end of the post).

This year has been so....overwhelming.  And I've been thinking about that a lot lately.  At this time last year, we felt weary and exhausted, and were looking forward to 2010, because we had so many plans to make it amazing.  We had no idea that in just a couple of short weeks, our entire world would come crashing down.

Now, a year later, so many things are going in the right direction, but there are still days when I just feel tired.  And I get mad at the cancer that took so much out of me this past year.  And I struggle with understanding why it's so hard for us to have a family when I would do anything for the chance to be a mom.  There are days when life still just doesn't feel fair.  And on those days (and there have been several in a row this week), it's hard not to let those feelings steal my peace.

I love this song because it encapsulates the meaning of real peace.  "All your hopes and fears are met in Him tonight."  Sometimes it's easy for me to be results-oriented instead of heart-oriented.  I get really riled up thinking about unfair things, when that's never what God promised.  Fairness is not part of the gospel - it wasn't fair for Jesus to die on the cross.  It's not "fair" to be given the free gift of eternal life, when I've done nothing to deserve it.  God never promises fairness, but He does give us peace - in fact, he is the Prince of Peace (taken from Isaiah 9:6).

There's a verse that I've been thinking about ever since it was talked about in church last Sunday.  It was a great Sunday, where several people told their stories about how God's grace has changed their lives.  The last person to share talked about Philippians 4, and the peace of God.  Here's the passage:

 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

The really comforting part in all of these verses is that the peace of God guarding my mind has nothing to do with all my hopes and dreams coming true.  Peace comes through a relationship with God.  It seems like the steps are this:

  • Rejoice in the Lord - be thankful for your relationship with Him, let that be a center stone.
  • Present requests to God - be honest with what you long for, share the desires of your heart
  • Trust in Him for the results, and experience the peace of knowing He is in control.

I want to be clear; I am speaking as one who is still working to figure this out.  I never want to come across as having the answers to everything.  I don't.  I just know that when my heart hurts, no matter what else I try, I find that God is always the most healing answer - that "all my hopes and fears are met in Him tonight."
Peace Peace (lyrics)
Peace Peace it's hard to find
trouble comes like wrecking ball
to you peace of mind
and all that worry you can't leave behind

all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
are met in Him tonight

peace peace
it's hard to find
doubt comes like a tiny voice that's
so unkind
and all your fears they conspire
to unwind you

all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
are met in Him

And in your dark street shines 
and everlasting light
and all your hopes and fears
are met in Him tonight

all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
are met in Him tonight

peace peace
peace peace
peace peace

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