The Heart of Adoption: the Rosati Story

I was reading an article the other day called, "To Find a Forever Family," and I've really wanted to share it.  It's about the Rosati family, and their journey to find their 4 children, by adopting them from the foster care system.  Their thoughts and attitudes really resound with my heart, and while I'd strongly encourage you to read the entire article, I wanted to share some of my favorite excerpts.

"Just a normal night in the life of an average family. But this is a family designed through choice, not biology. And tough choices at that. All four Rosati children were adopted from the foster care system.  The kids’ exuberance may be where that initial impression of controlled chaos comes from, but what lingers long after everyone settles down is a sense of pervasive peace. It’s in everything from the way John and Kelly reason with a child through a disciplinary issue to the words they use when telling their story. They never say “We adopted …” It’s always “[this child] came home [in such-and-such a year]” — as if these children always belonged to them, and they had only to discover it.

I can't even describe to you how often I think in that same way  - wondering how soon till our kids get to come home?


She goes on to talk about orphans in America:

“ 'Because we don’t have orphanages in America, we think we don’t have orphans — but we do,” says Kelly, who is now the senior director for the sanctity of human life department at Focus on the Family. “These are kids who wake up every day not knowing if they are going to be moved that day, who have no permanence in their lives. Many of them have only known neglect, abuse and abandonment.  “So we were just really challenged that if we were going to be pro-life, we needed to do something about this and not just look away.” 

And for those of you who are considering adoption:

"It takes people who aren’t perfect, because none of our kids are. It takes people willing to do a lot of giving to kids who’ve had people take a lot from them. We need families who are flexible, with a sense of humor, who are willing to be a mother bear for their kids, give them tough love and advocate for them in school and the community.  “Our kids have seen a lot of loss and a lot of hurt, and they just wonder, ‘Is anyone ever going to step up for me?’ Not for a week or a month, but consistently, like a marriage, till death do us part.”

This family sounds awesome, and I can't wait till I can tell a similar story - of how God used our family to reach out to kids in need, loving them no matter what, "till death do us part."  And again, you can check out the whole article here.

*To read all the posts in this series, click here.

Heart of Adoption: New PSA from the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

Don't these kids look like they could just fit right in with your family?

The Heart of Adoption: Love me.

There's a song that Dave and I have been listening to lately, that pretty much brings tears to my eyes every time that we hear it. Dave's not saying whether he tears up or not, but it has really touched both of our hearts, and reminds us of why we want to adopt.



It's the very first verse & chorus that gets me - it's a boy, crying out to God and begging for someone to love him:

He cries in the corner where nobody sees

He's the kid with the story no one would believe

He prays every night, "Dear God won't you please...

Could you send someone here who will love me?"

Who will love me for me

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me

'Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means

I listen to those words, and my heart almost breaks.  There are kids out there who echo this prayer every night of their lives.  They're not just faceless masses - they are children and youth, boys and girls, with hearts that are dying to know love.

God has shown us so much love, so much compassion, and so much grace, that our hearts are simply overflowing.  Because of that, words cannot express how deeply we desire to pass that unconditional love on to children who need the love of Christ and the love of parents - to show them, "what love really means."  

*Click here to read all the posts in this series.

The Heart of Adoption: A personal story

I was sent a link  this weekend, and when I finally got a chance to read it, it was a huge encouragement to me.  So much of what I read really resonated with what Dave and I believe the heart of adoption is all about.

The first part is the simple (yet amazing) story of the children this couple adopted into their family, and all the children they are able to thank God for.

The second part of the post is more about the heart behind adoption.   He starts off talking about the fact that Jesus himself was adopted:

Have you ever considered that Jesus was adopted? If you’re like me, you’ve probably never looked at it that way, but Joseph was Jesus’ adopted father! Jesus was adopted!!  The book “Adopted for life” by Russell Moore pointed this out to me... When he took Mary’s son as his own, he named him Jesus, protected him and cared for him, provided for him, taught him scripture, and taught him his own trade of carpentry.   Joseph was Jesus’ Dad, and Jesus was his first born son to which the privilege of lineage belonged, and through which the prophecy of “Christ to be born the son of David” was fulfilled.  If we believe that adoption isn’t a genuine family relationship then the prophesy has not yet been fulfilled.

For those who have trusted in Christ, adoption goes so much deeper than our lives here on earth - it is a reflection of our relationship with our heavenly Father:

The Father reached down and called us sons; while we were but helpless orphans, isolated, trapped and without hope in a foreign land.  We were picked up, joined into God’s family, and now brothers, and fellow heirs with Christ.  His inheritance is now ours also.

Our goal, and our purpose in pursuing adoption is not just to become parents.  Ultimately, our goal and purpose is to glorify God through sharing his love with children who need Him.  The article closes with this statement:

In summary, I exhort you to delight in adoption, and celebrate it.  It was God’s idea, and God’s plan; not primarily so we could have happy families of different colored children, but so God could everyday remind us that we were once orphans, whom he brought into His family, to share in His everything.  To God be the Glory.

Click here to read the whole article.

*Click here to read all the posts in this series.

The Heart of Adoption: This Christmas (Joy to the World)

Am I the only one who cries every time I hear "This Christmas (Joy to the World) by Toby Mac?  Every year, I think I'll have toughened up enough to make it through, but then I hear that Johny's "gonna spend his first Christmas in a real home" and I tear up.

It breaks my heart that there are so many children who will be all alone over Christmas.   Dave and I are comfy and cozy in our warm house this Christmas.  We'll decorate the tree, hang Christmas lights, exchange presents, and enjoy Christmas music next to the fireplace.  We'll be warm and well-fed, and be surrounded by friends and family, and in a place we know that we "belong."

Meanwhile, there are kids, just like Johny, who have nowhere to go, who will not feel loved, and will not get enough to eat.  They may not have anyone who will go Christmas shopping with them, or decorate cookies with them.  They may be cold on Christmas, and feel unloved.

I don't usually wish for a huge house (it'd just be more to clean anyway), but when I hear this song, I wish we had a mansion so that we could adopt 100 kids and never let them spend the night in an orphanage again.

Click here to listen to the song for free

Here's the lyrics:

Woman: Joy to the world

Let heaven and nature sing

Let heaven and nature sing

Toby Mac:Now Johny never got his wish on December 25

That's what he said when he left the orphanage

9 years old, but Johny was an old soul

Gonna spend his first Christmas in a real home

Showed me a picture that he drew the night before

Was a picture of a man standin' outside a door

I asked him who it was and he said someone I only

see in dreams

Comforts me when I cry myself to sleep

Woman:Father of the fatherless

Be with your sons and daughters this Christmas

This Christmas

Toby Mac:Believe in angels?

Johny asked me starin' at the sky

I said I do and saw a sparkle in his eye

Big brother for the weekend respondin' to the season

Took the chance that givin's better than recievin'

Two nights, a new family, some holiday cheer

We laughed and sang

Came on a midnight clear

We gave, recieved, and as we headed to close

We looked to the heavens and it started to snow

Down blessings

Woman: Father of the fatherless

Be with your sons and daughters this Christmas

(Toby Mac:You ain't livin' til you choose to give love and joy and

peace to one of His)

Father let us not forget

The children who are all alone this Christmas

(Toby Mac:You ain't livin' til you choose to give, you ain't livin' til

You choose to give)

(James 1:27)

Little Boy: Religion that God our Father

Accepts as pure and faultless is this

To look after orphans and widows in their distress

Merry Christmas everyone

Woman:Joy to the world

The Lord is come

Let heaven and nature sing

Let heaven and nature sing

Let heaven and nature sing

Let heaven and nature sing

Toby Mac:Believe in angels Jonnie asked me starin' at the sky

I said I do and saw a sparkle in his eye

9 years old, but Jonnie was an old soul

Gonna spend is next Christmas in a real home

Woman: Father of the fatherless

Be with your sons and daughters this Christmas

(Toby Mac:You ain't livin' til you choose to give love and joy and

peace to one of His)

Father let us not forget

The children who are all alone this Christmas

(Toby Mac:You ain't livin' til you choose to give, you ain't livin' til

You choose to give)

Father of the fatherless

Be with your sons and daughters this Christmas

Let Heaven and nature sing

Let Heaven and nature sing

Father let us not forget

The children who are all alone this Christmas

(Toby Mac:You ain't livin' til you choose to give, you ain't livin' til

You choose to give)

Toby Mac: You ain't livin'

You ain't livin'

You ain't livin'

Woman: Let Heaven and Nature sing

Let Heaven and nature sing

(Toby Mac:You ain't livin' til you choose to give, you ain't livin' til

You choose to give)

Don't leave me all alone

This Christmas

Little Boy: Merry Christmas Everyone

*Click here to see all the posts in this series.

The Heart of Adoption: Damaged People

I had an upsetting conversation the other day with someone who probably had no idea just how upset I was.

Someone had told "Mary" that we were thinking about adoption, and she asked how old we were considering.  I told her, and after briefly listening to my response, she told me that I should think twice about adopting any kids that were too old, because more than likely, they'd be damaged.

I couldn't believe my ears.  I'm not arguing that our future kids will likely have more problems than many other kids their age, but isn't that all the more reason that they need a loving home?

Mary went on to say that she wanted to adopt a younger child, because they most likely wouldn't be damaged - and did I know that there was even the possibility that an older child could have been sexually abused?  Certainly we wouldn't want that, she said.

Truthfully, I was appalled, and on several levels.

As I already said, the fact that these precious children have endured so much is all the more reason that I want to bring them into our home and shower them with all the love their hearts can hold.  We already understand that children who have gone through such hardships may act out with different behavioral problems, but we're willing to work with that, because we believe that they deserve a loving home and parents who will teach them right and wrong just as much as any other child.

On another level, aren't we all "damaged?"  Who's had a perfect life? Who hasn't had trouble in their lives at some point? Who doesn't have issues to work through at some level?  Whether we choose to recognize that or not may be a different story.

However, as someone who is fine with acknowledging that my life's not perfect (it would be very hard to claim that on a blog that has 43 posts about cancer!), I think that puts me in a great place to understand kids who have had a rough time.  Life can be hard?  I know.  Life feels unfair sometimes?  I get it.  But, here's what I also know, that they may not:  God is bigger than life's struggles.  Hope in Christ gives you strength for each day, and trusting in Him for salvation can calm your fears.

That's why I want to adopt kids - especially the "damaged" ones.  Because they need to know.  They need to hear that God loves them, that he can offer them hope when they have none, that they can be a part of His eternal family.  Don't they deserve to know that?

I know that Mary probably didn't realize quite how cold she sounded.  Her warning was probably very well intended - I guess I just found it a little....shocking.  And it got me thinking...now here we are, a blog post later, and I still want to adopt those kids more than ever.  True, there will be challenges, but we're trusting in God, and the Bible says that when we do that, we'll "taste and see that the Lord is good.  Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

*Click here to see all the posts in this series.

The Heart of Adoption: 127,000 v. 300,000

127,000 ::  number of children in the US currently in foster homes who are waiting for a permanent family.

300,000+ ::  number of churches in the US.

Those are HUGE numbers!  Keep in mind that the second one is not the number of people who go to church, it's the number of church families in America, according to this article.

If just over one couple per church adopted a child, every waiting child in the US would have a home.  

Isaiah 1:17 

Learn to do right; seek justice. 

Defend the oppressed.

Take up the cause of the fatherless; 

plead the case of the widow.

It seems like a pretty good solution to me.  Over and over, I see in the Bible that it is our job as a church, and more importantly, as believers in Christ to take care of those in need around us.

If you've ever even considered adoption, you could check out resources for each state here.  

Don't get me wrong: I love international adoption.  I hope that there will be an international adoption in our future.  But there are 127,000 children in our own nation - and there are children right there in your community - who desperately need our help too.

My prayer is that we see those children as God sees them -  precious little children, made in His image, and created for a purpose.  My hope is that we allow ourselves the blessing of being used by God as we seek to "learn to do right, seek justice...take up the cause of the fatherless."

Mark 9:36-37

He [Jesus] took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”

*To view all the posts in this series, click here.

The Heart of Adoption: Why Love Orphans

I watched this video clip today, and it brought me to tears.  It takes less than 2 minutes, and I think it will touch your heart!


Why Love Orphans? from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

*To view all the posts in this series, click here.

The Heart of Adoption: Father to the Fatherless

I'm a big believer in prayer. 

I believe in it's power:

James 5:16 (NIV)
16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

 and I believe God desires our prayers:

1 Timothy 2:8 (NIV)

8I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.

I also believe we're to pray with a heart like God's:

1 John 5:13-15 (NIV) 

13I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 14This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

 I've often prayed that God would give me a heart like his when thinking of our future children, and when thinking of the children in the world who need loving parents.  These verses came to mind, and I wanted to share them:

Proverbs 31:8-9 (NIV)
8 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute. 

9 Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy."


Psalm 68:5-6 (NIV)
5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.

6 God sets the lonely in families, [a]
he leads forth the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.


Psalm 10: 14, 17-18
14 But you, O God, do see trouble and grief;
you consider it to take it in hand.
The victim commits himself to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.

17 You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted;
you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,

18 defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.

Clearly God has a heart for orphans - we are told to stand up for those who can't defend themselves, and God says that he Himself is a "father to the fatherless."  The more I pray, and the more I read the Bible, the more committed I become to adoption, and the more thankful I am that this is where God is leading us!

*Click here to read all the post in The Heart of Adoption series!

The Heart of Adoption: Ephesians 3:14-21

Lately, I have wondered a lot what our adoption story will look like.  We thought we knew how our family would look, and had our children all planned out.  But we're finding that God has different things in store for us, and His plans often contain blessings far beyond we would have even thought to ask for.  After all, God's love for us is "wide and long and high and deep!" 

From Ephesians 3:

¹⁴For this reason I kneel before the Father, ¹⁵from whom his whole family^[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. ¹⁶I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
 ²⁰Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I used to ask God to please give us a baby.  Now, we pray with open hearts, and open hands: God, you know our children.  Please lead them to us in Your timing, and watch over them and comfort them until they get to come home."  

Already, God is teaching us to broaden our horizons, and I no longer ask God to just give me a baby.  I ask Him to add to our family according to His will! 

God is using this adoption process to teach us how to pray and to strengthen our faith. Instead of limiting ourselves by only asking for what we want in the moment, we're starting to pray through passages of the Bible as we acknowledge that he "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine!"

The passage I shared above is so rich in promise - I pray through these verses almost every day and love them more each time I do!


         *Click here to see all the posts in The Heart of Adoption Series!

The Heart of Adoption: Acting Out Love

I've been reading articles and checking on resources at iCareAboutOrphans.org, which is a ministry from Focus on the Family that provides support to couples considering adoption.  I've really appreciated the info I've found on this site!

I read Acting Out Love today, an article written about Mott & Beth Brown, whose family adopted 4 Ethiopian children, when they had originally planned to adopt a single girl from China.  However, they were open to what God had for them, and they have been blessed as a family through that.  In the process, they faced many obstacles, some of themfinancial, some of them with physical difficulties, but they persevered through trials.

Through this process, they have had to back up their words of faith with actions that demonstrated a trust in God, and they had to realize their complete dependence on God as they worked to love their children fully.

Beth, the adoptive mom, says this at the end of the article: “To say ‘Love is a choice’ is cliché. But it’s lived out when you adopt. You have to confess your lack of love and pray that God will give you that love for them. You have to act out love. It’s not enough to bring them home to a better life; you have to choose to love them. And that means bringing it before the Lord every day for the rest of our lives.”

It's a great article about following God's leading through adoption.  I would encourage you to check it out!

The Heart of Adoption: Intro

Over the next few weeks, or even months (we'll see how long this goes!), I'd like to share articles, personal thoughts, and Bible verses that explain the heart of adoption.  Those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile know that we are not able to have children biologically.  Sometimes, it seems that people think that if you can't have biological children, at least there's plan B - adoption.  (Sigh). 

However, that's not how we see it at all.  We have wanted children for years at this point, but from the beginning, we have believed and trusted that God already knows our children.  For us, adoption is not the option we're "settling" for, it's the next step on the path that God has for our family, and we're excited.  I would be dishonest if I said that I'm not disappointed that I'll never experience pregnancy, or that I'm not curious to see what a combination of Dave's and my DNA would look like.  I am.  However, we believe that adoption is a part of God's heart for the world, and that it is a reflection of our own relationship with Him.  And, above all, our desire is for His will to be done in our lives, and for our family to glorify Him.  For our family, we believe that includes adoption.

To that end, I'll be sharing more in what will be my first "official" series: The Heart of Adoption. 

Stay tuned!