It's been awhile since I've posted, so I thought I'd give an update. I have done 10 of 33 radiation treatments now, so after Monday, I will officially be 1/3 of the way done! I'm really looking forward to that. So far, it hasn't been too bad, although my skin is starting to show just the smallest hint of pink on the radiation site. You can join with me in praying that the burn doesn't get too bad, because if it does, then I will need to take a week off, and I really want to be done by July 29th! No particular reason, I guess, except that pushing it back a week pushes cancer junk into yet another month of 2010, and I feel that 7 months of this is quite enough! Maybe even more than enough. :)
Last weekend Dave and I got to go to Minneapolis for my best friend's birthday. It was the first time we'd taken a trip since all of this started, and while I still took more naps than usual, it was SO MUCH FUN. Life felt a little more normal, and it was great to celebrate with her! We also got to squeeze in dinner at my aunt and uncle's house, complete with cousins and kiddos and all. It was such a refreshing weekend, and so wonderful to be able to spend it with friends and family.
This past week, I had to get bloodwork done. We all know that I HATE needles, and that still hasn't changed. In fact, the ONLY person I ever want to touch my port is Leona, from the Cancer Center clinic where I got my chemo. So, instead of just having someone do it at the hospital where I go for radiation, I asked if I could get it done by Leona instead, to which they said yes. So, I got to go back to the Cancer Center for something other than chemo! Let me tell you, that was much more fun. I got to hand over my sharps container of all my shots, and give the rest of the shots I hadn't taken to the doctor. WOO HOO!!! Now the only kind of needles left in my house are the kind used for sewing and knitting.
While I was there, I went back to see if my favorite chemo nurses were there. And I ran into my friend Katie as well! We ended up talking for awhile, and the patient that Trish was working with joined in too. We talked about some of the side effects that we had experienced, and I was even able to give her some tips on make-up that I've used to try to look more "normal." It was SO energizing to be able to help someone else, and it felt so good to finally be in a position where I could say to someone else who looked nervous, "You WILL make it through. Chemo might be tough, but you WILL be ok."
Also, when I was there, Katie and I were talking more about her non-profit organization that she started, Katie's Crusaders. The organization was founded (this year, actually!) to help local people fighting cancer who need help with all the medical bills. I think that's an incredible cause. I started adding up the cost of all my treatment....without insurance, beating cancer would cost me over 120,000, just using some rough, conservative estimates. Thankfully, we have insurance, and our costs have been more manageable than that. Katie's Crusaders is having their first 5k walk/run to raise money for people who are fighting against cancer who don't have insurance. For all of you in the Des Moines area, I'd love for you to join me! It's September 18th, and you can register for it here. Check it out, and you can go on Facebook and invite your friends to come too!
Finally, an update on my hair. It's still mostly soft fuzz right now, and it's coming in dark! I think another month, and I might be able to go without my scarves sometimes. Maybe. I'm really looking forward to that! I'm starting to get a few little hairs growing back in my eyebrows, and more eyelashes too! Both of them are very short, and very fine, so I'm thinking it could be awhile before they're really back. I'm taking extra vitamins, though, just in case that helps them go faster. :)
With that, I'm off to church. I am at a point now where I've been able to go every week, and I really treasure that. It's wonderful to be able to join with others in worship and thankgiving every week. God has given me so much, and has provided for us in many, many ways!
Showing posts with label shots (blech). Show all posts
Showing posts with label shots (blech). Show all posts
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Round 8 - the end is in sight!
Wow. I got round 8 done yesterday. I can hardly believe it! It seems surreal. When I was diagnosed on January 6, it was such a scary time, I didn't have a clue what my life would be like in 6 months - or for that matter, if I would even be alive. When I started chemo on February 12, I had learned a lot more about my prognosis, and knew that my long term outlook was good, but 4 months of chemo seemed like it would never, ever end. And now, yesterday, May 21st, I had my last one.
On one hand, I want to do a dance, scream and shout, and party like it's 1999. On the other hand, I know that I still have a couple more weeks of intense pain to get through, and it's going to be really hard. But I know that, by the grace of God, I can get through it. By His strength, I can make it, and find joy in my salvation despite the pain.
The lady who accesses my port each time (in non-cancer terms, puts the IV into the port that I had surgically put in), Leona, gave me a huge hug yesterday. I'll never forget the first time she accessed it - I was shaking so hard that it took forever, and she had to physically push me back into the chair so that she could do her job. She was so kind she made me cry, and we've gotten to know each other quite a bit over the last 4 months. I'll really miss her!
My absolute favorite chemo nurses were there, too, Angie and Trish. I've really liked all the chemo nurses I've had, but I've had these two the most. Trish was the one that took care of me the first day. She put up with a crazy amount of weird questions, and never made me feel stupid once. When she was teaching me how to give myself the shots, she even showed me how to inject them on herself (with saline, of course!), and when I asked her if I was in any danger of puncturing important organs, like my kidneys or spleen, she was very gracious when she assured me I was not, and in fact, she had never heard of anyone piercing organs with a half-in needle, and was pretty sure it was impossible.
A few medical details from yesterday:
First, the good, great, and wonderful news: NO MORE SHOTS!!!!! My doctor was feeling very generous yesterday, and said I am DONE with those awful, horrible little things. I almost hugged her, but I'm not sure she's the "hugging" type. She did, however, smile a lot at my enthusiastic response. :)
Also, I can start using Latisse to help jump-start my eye-lash regrowth. I'm pretty excited for that, since I literally have a grand total of 8 eye lashes left. No exaggeration. I'm looking forward to them growing back!
I am going to start a 5-year hormone drug. It starts with a T, but I don't remember the name. However, it can potentially cause blood clots in your legs, so my doctor measured my calves to see where our starting point was. She found that my right calf measured larger than my left calf, and since the chemo drugs can potentially (though rarely), cause blood clots too, I had to rush right over to the hospital for an ultrasound on my leg after chemo. It was pretty scary, since the possible outcomes ranged from "nothing at all, I just have weird legs" (not exactly how they termed it, but I think that's what the medical jargon meant), to admitting me into the hospital immediately and holding me there until they fixed the clot, if I was lucky. So, that was a little nerve-wracking, but we just prayed that everything would turn out alright. And, while the procedure was uncomfortable, the (un)official results are that I'm fine! The doctor still has to "approve" the results, but the tech said that she always airs on the side of caution, and saw absolutely nothing that looked abnormal. And she even did both legs for comparison. So, thankfully, I just fall into the "weird legs" category. Praise the Lord for that!
I will be getting the radiation process started in a few weeks. I know that I will have to go through a "mapping" process, where they "map" out the area on my body for radiation. Most of the time they make you get tattoos, but yesterday, I found out there are actually alternatives to tattoos, involving super sticky things that you have to keep covered in bandages when not in the office. I've heard they're more work for the doctors, and more upkeep for me, but it would be completely worth it to me to not have little grey dots all over. Radiation will be 5 days a week, and I think that will go for 6 or 7 weeks. I've been so focused on getting through chemo, that I still have a lot to learn about radiation, so I'll keep you posted as I find out more!
Well, I still have a few hours left before it all starts to hit.....and with that time, I am going to a dear friend's wedding. I've never attempted such a big outing so quickly after chemo, so I am hoping and praying that I make it through!
And, a photo from yesterday. My friend Katie was also there, so left-right across in the back is Katie, then Angie & Trish, with me in the front. I am so glad to be done with chemo, but will miss seeing them! I'll have to stop by to say hi every now and then.
I'll keep you posted on my progress as I get through this last round. I'll be ready for more celebration when I'm done with all the pain from this round. And I'll REALLY be ready to celebrate in August when I'll be done with everything!
On one hand, I want to do a dance, scream and shout, and party like it's 1999. On the other hand, I know that I still have a couple more weeks of intense pain to get through, and it's going to be really hard. But I know that, by the grace of God, I can get through it. By His strength, I can make it, and find joy in my salvation despite the pain.
The lady who accesses my port each time (in non-cancer terms, puts the IV into the port that I had surgically put in), Leona, gave me a huge hug yesterday. I'll never forget the first time she accessed it - I was shaking so hard that it took forever, and she had to physically push me back into the chair so that she could do her job. She was so kind she made me cry, and we've gotten to know each other quite a bit over the last 4 months. I'll really miss her!
My absolute favorite chemo nurses were there, too, Angie and Trish. I've really liked all the chemo nurses I've had, but I've had these two the most. Trish was the one that took care of me the first day. She put up with a crazy amount of weird questions, and never made me feel stupid once. When she was teaching me how to give myself the shots, she even showed me how to inject them on herself (with saline, of course!), and when I asked her if I was in any danger of puncturing important organs, like my kidneys or spleen, she was very gracious when she assured me I was not, and in fact, she had never heard of anyone piercing organs with a half-in needle, and was pretty sure it was impossible.
A few medical details from yesterday:
First, the good, great, and wonderful news: NO MORE SHOTS!!!!! My doctor was feeling very generous yesterday, and said I am DONE with those awful, horrible little things. I almost hugged her, but I'm not sure she's the "hugging" type. She did, however, smile a lot at my enthusiastic response. :)
Also, I can start using Latisse to help jump-start my eye-lash regrowth. I'm pretty excited for that, since I literally have a grand total of 8 eye lashes left. No exaggeration. I'm looking forward to them growing back!
I am going to start a 5-year hormone drug. It starts with a T, but I don't remember the name. However, it can potentially cause blood clots in your legs, so my doctor measured my calves to see where our starting point was. She found that my right calf measured larger than my left calf, and since the chemo drugs can potentially (though rarely), cause blood clots too, I had to rush right over to the hospital for an ultrasound on my leg after chemo. It was pretty scary, since the possible outcomes ranged from "nothing at all, I just have weird legs" (not exactly how they termed it, but I think that's what the medical jargon meant), to admitting me into the hospital immediately and holding me there until they fixed the clot, if I was lucky. So, that was a little nerve-wracking, but we just prayed that everything would turn out alright. And, while the procedure was uncomfortable, the (un)official results are that I'm fine! The doctor still has to "approve" the results, but the tech said that she always airs on the side of caution, and saw absolutely nothing that looked abnormal. And she even did both legs for comparison. So, thankfully, I just fall into the "weird legs" category. Praise the Lord for that!
I will be getting the radiation process started in a few weeks. I know that I will have to go through a "mapping" process, where they "map" out the area on my body for radiation. Most of the time they make you get tattoos, but yesterday, I found out there are actually alternatives to tattoos, involving super sticky things that you have to keep covered in bandages when not in the office. I've heard they're more work for the doctors, and more upkeep for me, but it would be completely worth it to me to not have little grey dots all over. Radiation will be 5 days a week, and I think that will go for 6 or 7 weeks. I've been so focused on getting through chemo, that I still have a lot to learn about radiation, so I'll keep you posted as I find out more!
Well, I still have a few hours left before it all starts to hit.....and with that time, I am going to a dear friend's wedding. I've never attempted such a big outing so quickly after chemo, so I am hoping and praying that I make it through!
And, a photo from yesterday. My friend Katie was also there, so left-right across in the back is Katie, then Angie & Trish, with me in the front. I am so glad to be done with chemo, but will miss seeing them! I'll have to stop by to say hi every now and then.
I'll keep you posted on my progress as I get through this last round. I'll be ready for more celebration when I'm done with all the pain from this round. And I'll REALLY be ready to celebrate in August when I'll be done with everything!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer"
This round has been tough. I've had a lot of trouble being able to sleep due to the pain, and being so tired just makes everything else feel worse. My hands and feet have only had occasional burning and tingling this time, for which I am very thankful. It still hurts when the tingling hits, but at least it's not constant this time. The part that is constant, however, is the muscle and bone pain. Even after upping my pain meds, my entire body hurts.
I finished my shots for this round, which means I only have 3 left. My sharps container is getting pretty full, so it's a good thing I'm almost done!
I know I'm getting close to the end of chemo. It just doesn't feel like I'm quite close enough. I know that pretty soon I'll start feeling better, but it's still hard to see past the pain right now. Even so, on May 21st I'll have my last round injected. By the end of May, I won't be in nearly as much pain. By the first week of June, I'll probably start getting at least a little energy back. But right now, it's only May 11, and June still seems so far away. At this moment, it's hard to see past the fact that it's 1am, and I'm in so much pain I can hardly stand it. But, this too shall pass.
I have been meditating on a few verses over the last few days - one of which I've included below. I have fallen in love with the Psalms all over again - they are so rich in comfort, and are filled with such strong words of trust. There are times when I simply don't have the words on my own, but I can go to the Psalms and pray through the verses I find there.
Here are a few prayer requests:
I finished my shots for this round, which means I only have 3 left. My sharps container is getting pretty full, so it's a good thing I'm almost done!
I know I'm getting close to the end of chemo. It just doesn't feel like I'm quite close enough. I know that pretty soon I'll start feeling better, but it's still hard to see past the pain right now. Even so, on May 21st I'll have my last round injected. By the end of May, I won't be in nearly as much pain. By the first week of June, I'll probably start getting at least a little energy back. But right now, it's only May 11, and June still seems so far away. At this moment, it's hard to see past the fact that it's 1am, and I'm in so much pain I can hardly stand it. But, this too shall pass.
I have been meditating on a few verses over the last few days - one of which I've included below. I have fallen in love with the Psalms all over again - they are so rich in comfort, and are filled with such strong words of trust. There are times when I simply don't have the words on my own, but I can go to the Psalms and pray through the verses I find there.
Psalm 18:1-3, 28-32
I love you, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies....
...You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.
With your help I can advance against a troop;
with my God I can scale a wall.
As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
Here are a few prayer requests:
- That God would give me strength to get through these last few weeks
- That the pain would be manageable
- For Dave - it's hard for him to see me in so much pain and not be able to "fix" it
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Here we go again....
Well, round 7 is underway. The actual chemo went pretty well - in fact, I even got some good news at my doctor's appointment! I managed to bargain my way into only having to take 3 shots these last two rounds! I was pretty excited for that.
What I'm not excited about is the next few days, when I will most likely be in extreme pain again. I am dreading that in a way that I am unable to describe. However, at the moment a couple of ibuprofen are taking care of the pain, and my feet and hands aren't tingling or burning yet, for which I am very thankful.
One more thing - on one hand, my eyelashes are nearly gone, and my eyebrows completely thinned out, but I think the peach fuzz on my head is getting just a little thicker! And I do mean just a little bit - but I'm glad to see any sign of my hair coming back!
Mentally, emotionally, I am just ready for chemo to be over and done with. A month from now, I will be starting to feel better. I'm truly looking forward to the end of May, and only God's strength will get me through the rest of this month.
I'll keep you posted on how this round goes. Thank you all for your prayers, you encouragement, and your support - it means so much.
What I'm not excited about is the next few days, when I will most likely be in extreme pain again. I am dreading that in a way that I am unable to describe. However, at the moment a couple of ibuprofen are taking care of the pain, and my feet and hands aren't tingling or burning yet, for which I am very thankful.
One more thing - on one hand, my eyelashes are nearly gone, and my eyebrows completely thinned out, but I think the peach fuzz on my head is getting just a little thicker! And I do mean just a little bit - but I'm glad to see any sign of my hair coming back!
Mentally, emotionally, I am just ready for chemo to be over and done with. A month from now, I will be starting to feel better. I'm truly looking forward to the end of May, and only God's strength will get me through the rest of this month.
I'll keep you posted on how this round goes. Thank you all for your prayers, you encouragement, and your support - it means so much.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
I can't think of a song today.
Well, yesterday I had round 6 of chemo. I can't say that I'm done with round 6, because I still have all the side effects, and the shots, to get through. But I'm getting there.
Yesterday, my doctor was happy with my progress so far, and the good news that came out of that appointment was that since my blood counts were so, so high last week, I only have to take 4 shots per chemo round from here on out! You guys must have really been praying hard! So, since I've already taken one shot today, I have a maximum of 11 shots left. It's only a difference of 3 shots over the rest of my chemo, but I'll take any good news that I can get!
I've had a lot of that same jittery energy from all the steroids as I did last time. Yesterday, I cleaned the kitchen, worked on laundry, tidied up our room, and a whole bunch of other stuff, all before my appointment! Today, Dave and I ran a bunch errands together, I folded two huge baskets of laundry, cut Dave's hair, baked bread, made a double batch of lasagna (Emily, yours tasted so much better....not sure what I did wrong!!), an entire vat of chicken noodle soup, and a variety of odds and ends. But, now the steroids are wearing off, and I'm starting to crash.
In some ways, I've really enjoyed the day. I've accomplished a lot, which felt good, and it was nice to have so much energy, if only for a little while. But, all day long I've had this feeling of Impending Doom hanging over my head. After the last round, I know what's coming, and while I'm hoping it might not be quite so horrible, I know what it might feel like. Last time, I experienced pain unlike anything I had yet experienced. And odds are, I will this time too And I'm dreading it.
So, in some ways, today has been really hard. Now that I'm crashing, I know it's back to feeling sick for awhile. And I'm so tired of that. I hate the fact that being able to bake bread for the first time this year is such a big deal. I hate that I run out of energy after cooking meals, to the point where poor Dave had to clean up the massive mess I made. I hate that nothing in my life feels normal, and that pain has just become "normal." It's NOT normal to be in this much pain, all the time. I am struggling to not just completely give in to feeling sorry for myself, and I don't like that. But, that's where I am today. I am sad, and I hate cancer.
I know there is music that would soothe my heart. I know there are Bible verses that would feed my soul. And before I go to bed tonight, I'm determined to think of them, and draw close to God through them. But right now, I feel so frustrated by my life, so tired of dealing with cancer. So, until I can think of verses and songs, I'm going to count on your prayers. I'm so thankful that God listens.
But, despite my inability to pull myself out of this current feeling, even now, in my head, I know that God sees me, He knows my pain, and that He hurts with me. And I know that even though I don't understand why I'm going through this, I know he's promised to work everything for the good of those who love Him. And I do love Him.
Yesterday, my doctor was happy with my progress so far, and the good news that came out of that appointment was that since my blood counts were so, so high last week, I only have to take 4 shots per chemo round from here on out! You guys must have really been praying hard! So, since I've already taken one shot today, I have a maximum of 11 shots left. It's only a difference of 3 shots over the rest of my chemo, but I'll take any good news that I can get!
I've had a lot of that same jittery energy from all the steroids as I did last time. Yesterday, I cleaned the kitchen, worked on laundry, tidied up our room, and a whole bunch of other stuff, all before my appointment! Today, Dave and I ran a bunch errands together, I folded two huge baskets of laundry, cut Dave's hair, baked bread, made a double batch of lasagna (Emily, yours tasted so much better....not sure what I did wrong!!), an entire vat of chicken noodle soup, and a variety of odds and ends. But, now the steroids are wearing off, and I'm starting to crash.
In some ways, I've really enjoyed the day. I've accomplished a lot, which felt good, and it was nice to have so much energy, if only for a little while. But, all day long I've had this feeling of Impending Doom hanging over my head. After the last round, I know what's coming, and while I'm hoping it might not be quite so horrible, I know what it might feel like. Last time, I experienced pain unlike anything I had yet experienced. And odds are, I will this time too And I'm dreading it.
So, in some ways, today has been really hard. Now that I'm crashing, I know it's back to feeling sick for awhile. And I'm so tired of that. I hate the fact that being able to bake bread for the first time this year is such a big deal. I hate that I run out of energy after cooking meals, to the point where poor Dave had to clean up the massive mess I made. I hate that nothing in my life feels normal, and that pain has just become "normal." It's NOT normal to be in this much pain, all the time. I am struggling to not just completely give in to feeling sorry for myself, and I don't like that. But, that's where I am today. I am sad, and I hate cancer.
I know there is music that would soothe my heart. I know there are Bible verses that would feed my soul. And before I go to bed tonight, I'm determined to think of them, and draw close to God through them. But right now, I feel so frustrated by my life, so tired of dealing with cancer. So, until I can think of verses and songs, I'm going to count on your prayers. I'm so thankful that God listens.
But, despite my inability to pull myself out of this current feeling, even now, in my head, I know that God sees me, He knows my pain, and that He hurts with me. And I know that even though I don't understand why I'm going through this, I know he's promised to work everything for the good of those who love Him. And I do love Him.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Woo hoo!
Thank you so much to all of you who prayed for my appointment today. Praise the Lord, I don't have to take anymore shots this round! So, I have 15 total shots left. With continued prayer, I can do this, and the joy of the Lord will be my strength.
I wanted to share a song that I've been listening to over and over lately - Your Hands, by JJ Heller. It's about resting and trusting in the hands of God, despite hard times. It focuses on the fact that God is constant and trustworthy when all of life is unreliable and uncertain. It's been so comforting to me lately. I posted the lyrics below, and pray that it will be a blessing to you too!
Lyrics:
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands
For more JJ Heller: www.jjheller.com
I wanted to share a song that I've been listening to over and over lately - Your Hands, by JJ Heller. It's about resting and trusting in the hands of God, despite hard times. It focuses on the fact that God is constant and trustworthy when all of life is unreliable and uncertain. It's been so comforting to me lately. I posted the lyrics below, and pray that it will be a blessing to you too!
Lyrics:
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands
For more JJ Heller: www.jjheller.com
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
This new drug is hard.
Several of you have asked about how this new drug is going, so I thought I'd post a quick update.
In short, this new drug is hard. To elaborate, it has caused extreme amounts of bone and muscle pain in my legs and hips. Since the shots I take already cause pain in these areas plus a few more, the last few days have been miserable. The tingling and burning sensation in my feet is gone now, but my body still aches quite a bit. I am hoping that the next round will be easier, or that I can be unconscious. I'm fine with either option. :)
The next thing I have coming up is bloodwork to check my white count levels. I get that done tomorrow (Thurs), and that will determine if I have to take more than 5 shots for these last 4 rounds of chemo (this current round, plus the last 3). Since all of you who read this know how much I hate those shots, you can pray that my white counts are good, and that 5 shots per round will be enough!
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and thanks for your prayers! I am so thankful for every prayer uttered on our behalf.
In short, this new drug is hard. To elaborate, it has caused extreme amounts of bone and muscle pain in my legs and hips. Since the shots I take already cause pain in these areas plus a few more, the last few days have been miserable. The tingling and burning sensation in my feet is gone now, but my body still aches quite a bit. I am hoping that the next round will be easier, or that I can be unconscious. I'm fine with either option. :)
The next thing I have coming up is bloodwork to check my white count levels. I get that done tomorrow (Thurs), and that will determine if I have to take more than 5 shots for these last 4 rounds of chemo (this current round, plus the last 3). Since all of you who read this know how much I hate those shots, you can pray that my white counts are good, and that 5 shots per round will be enough!
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and thanks for your prayers! I am so thankful for every prayer uttered on our behalf.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Round 5 - over half way there!
Well, I made it through Round 5, and I am now over half way done with chemo!!!!! I had a whole new set of drugs this time. I don't remember if I explained this in previous posts or not, but I have total of 8 scheduled rounds of chemo. The first four were one set of drugs, and rounds 5-8 are a different set of drugs. I was really nervous to start this new round, because there is a chance of allergic reactions, most of which sounded kind of scary.
The good news is that my doctor is one of the few that prescribes a huge amount of steroids prior to, as well as during the chemo, to try to avoid the allergic reaction. These steroids had two major effects. First, and most importantly, I did not have any allergic reactions! Praise the Lord for that! Second, I have had a burst of energy unlike anything I have experienced in 2010. It's sort of a weird, jittery energy kind of like when I used to get when I'd have WAY too much caffeine studying for college finals, but I have accomplished more in the last two days than in the last month combined! I'm starting to come down from them now, but it was really nice while it lasted!
Some of the side effects from this drug are tingling and numbness in my hands and feet. The tingling is starting to take effect in my feet, which is now making it uncomfortable to walk. I'd rather just have the numbness (well, I think I would anyway...who knows!)! There is about a 5% chance that it may never go away, so please pray that I fall into the 95% of those for whom it does completely go away! It's uncomfortable.
Another major side effect, other than the extreme fatigue that just seems to go with chemo, is muscle and bone ache in my legs and hips. Since I also get extreme pain in those areas from my neupogyn shots, I'm a little nervous for that. That usually sets in by day 2 or 3, so either tomorrow or Monday I'll be finding out how bad it is.
All that being said, my doctor and nurses all said that MOST people find these drugs easier to take than the first set, so I'm praying that to be true.
Finally, since it's a different drug, I have to get my white count tested again later this week to see if I still only have to take 5 shots per chemo round, or if this new chemo drug lowers my blood count enough to require me to take even more than that. Please pray that I don't have to take more than 5 shots per round! They cause so much pain, and I really don't want to take anymore than 5.
I wanted to share one passage that I have been focusing on lately. It's Psalm 27, and here are a few of my favorite verses from it:
I love these verses. It keeps me focused when I'm in pain, or feeling discouraged because I get so tired and feel so crummy so often. It keeps me focused on Christ when I feel like I'm at the end of my rope from being so sick for what is starting to feel like so long. No matter what, I have the Holy Spirit living inside me - truly, He is my Helper. And deep in my heart, he keeps reminding me to seek God's face, to keep looking at the eternal perspective, knowing that Heaven is my home, and that this pain is only temporary.
And, the wonderful thing is that the more I focus on Christ, and make Him my refuge from all that feels awful, the more I am finding my theme verse to hold true:
God is good, all the time!
The good news is that my doctor is one of the few that prescribes a huge amount of steroids prior to, as well as during the chemo, to try to avoid the allergic reaction. These steroids had two major effects. First, and most importantly, I did not have any allergic reactions! Praise the Lord for that! Second, I have had a burst of energy unlike anything I have experienced in 2010. It's sort of a weird, jittery energy kind of like when I used to get when I'd have WAY too much caffeine studying for college finals, but I have accomplished more in the last two days than in the last month combined! I'm starting to come down from them now, but it was really nice while it lasted!
Some of the side effects from this drug are tingling and numbness in my hands and feet. The tingling is starting to take effect in my feet, which is now making it uncomfortable to walk. I'd rather just have the numbness (well, I think I would anyway...who knows!)! There is about a 5% chance that it may never go away, so please pray that I fall into the 95% of those for whom it does completely go away! It's uncomfortable.
Another major side effect, other than the extreme fatigue that just seems to go with chemo, is muscle and bone ache in my legs and hips. Since I also get extreme pain in those areas from my neupogyn shots, I'm a little nervous for that. That usually sets in by day 2 or 3, so either tomorrow or Monday I'll be finding out how bad it is.
All that being said, my doctor and nurses all said that MOST people find these drugs easier to take than the first set, so I'm praying that to be true.
Finally, since it's a different drug, I have to get my white count tested again later this week to see if I still only have to take 5 shots per chemo round, or if this new chemo drug lowers my blood count enough to require me to take even more than that. Please pray that I don't have to take more than 5 shots per round! They cause so much pain, and I really don't want to take anymore than 5.
I wanted to share one passage that I have been focusing on lately. It's Psalm 27, and here are a few of my favorite verses from it:
4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
6 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.
7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, "Seek his [b] face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek.
I love these verses. It keeps me focused when I'm in pain, or feeling discouraged because I get so tired and feel so crummy so often. It keeps me focused on Christ when I feel like I'm at the end of my rope from being so sick for what is starting to feel like so long. No matter what, I have the Holy Spirit living inside me - truly, He is my Helper. And deep in my heart, he keeps reminding me to seek God's face, to keep looking at the eternal perspective, knowing that Heaven is my home, and that this pain is only temporary.
And, the wonderful thing is that the more I focus on Christ, and make Him my refuge from all that feels awful, the more I am finding my theme verse to hold true:
Taste and see that the LORD is good;blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Psalm 34:8
God is good, all the time!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Round 4, and some disappointing news. :(
Well, I finished round 4 of chemo! That means that it was the last round of the first set of drugs, and next time will be completely different. For most people the second set of drugs are easier to take, so everybody can be praying that the same it true for me!
I have not been feeling so great this weekend, but nothing too unusual. We went back to the first kind of anti-nausea drugs, because while I didn't feel really great on them, they had the least amount of unpleasant side-effects. So, we'll plan on lots of naps this weekend!
And now, the disappointing news. At first, I was only going to have to take the shots for the first 4 rounds of chemo, then I would be done. So, I have been counting down, and have been so excited, thinking that this round would be the last round with the shots! I really hate the shots, not only because I hate stabbing myself in the stomach with needles, but because of the mind-numbing bone pain they cause. :( So.....I double checked with my doctor to make sure that I would be done with them after this round....and I'm not. :( I have to keep up with them through the rest of chemo. She said maybe, MAYBE, if I have NO complications through the next 3 rounds, I can skip the shots on my last round since I won't have to worry about getting my white blood count up another round of chemo at that point. Words just cannot express my disappointment. I almost burst into tears in the middle of the office! But, I am trying to remind myself that if they are what is best for me, what will keep me the safest, and keep me on schedule, then it will be worth it. I will just have to mentally gear up for them!
Well, you guys can keep praying for us. Pray for strength to keep going on - this is a very tiring process for both of us, and has been very draining. You can also pray that this is an easier round, with fewer side effects, and that I have some energy!
Thank you all for your support and love. It has all meant so much!
I have not been feeling so great this weekend, but nothing too unusual. We went back to the first kind of anti-nausea drugs, because while I didn't feel really great on them, they had the least amount of unpleasant side-effects. So, we'll plan on lots of naps this weekend!
And now, the disappointing news. At first, I was only going to have to take the shots for the first 4 rounds of chemo, then I would be done. So, I have been counting down, and have been so excited, thinking that this round would be the last round with the shots! I really hate the shots, not only because I hate stabbing myself in the stomach with needles, but because of the mind-numbing bone pain they cause. :( So.....I double checked with my doctor to make sure that I would be done with them after this round....and I'm not. :( I have to keep up with them through the rest of chemo. She said maybe, MAYBE, if I have NO complications through the next 3 rounds, I can skip the shots on my last round since I won't have to worry about getting my white blood count up another round of chemo at that point. Words just cannot express my disappointment. I almost burst into tears in the middle of the office! But, I am trying to remind myself that if they are what is best for me, what will keep me the safest, and keep me on schedule, then it will be worth it. I will just have to mentally gear up for them!
Well, you guys can keep praying for us. Pray for strength to keep going on - this is a very tiring process for both of us, and has been very draining. You can also pray that this is an easier round, with fewer side effects, and that I have some energy!
Thank you all for your support and love. It has all meant so much!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Round 3
Well, I finished round 3 of chemo, and start my 3rd round of shots today. The actual chemo went pretty well. Since then I've felt pretty up and down. I am on another kind of anti-nausea drug (I've been trying a new one each time to try to find something that works). Overall, I think this one is working better because it doesn't knock me out so much, but I still feel really nauseous sometimes. Ugh! I'm ready for this to be over.
I have one more round left of this type of drug, then I change to a different type of drug for my last four treatments. I don't know exactly how I'll feel on the different drugs, but most people say it's not quite as hard to deal with, and HUGE BONUS - no shots. So, I have 10 shots left to go, I CANNOT WAIT to be done with them. Not only do I really hate giving them to myself, but the bone pain that they produce is just horrendous.
Anyway, that's about all there is. Thanks for taking the time to read this - we haven't found words yet to express how much we appreciate all the support and encouragement we've received from people who care about us. We have the best friends and family in the world!
Now I need another nap. :)
I have one more round left of this type of drug, then I change to a different type of drug for my last four treatments. I don't know exactly how I'll feel on the different drugs, but most people say it's not quite as hard to deal with, and HUGE BONUS - no shots. So, I have 10 shots left to go, I CANNOT WAIT to be done with them. Not only do I really hate giving them to myself, but the bone pain that they produce is just horrendous.
Anyway, that's about all there is. Thanks for taking the time to read this - we haven't found words yet to express how much we appreciate all the support and encouragement we've received from people who care about us. We have the best friends and family in the world!
Now I need another nap. :)
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Chemo number 2
Well, I had my second chemo treatment on Friday. I was nervous, but not shaking like I had been the last time, so that was an improvement! I saw my friend that I had met last time again, which was fun.
Overall, the actual treatment seemed to go better, due in part to the fact that I knew more about what to expect. The creepy red stuff was still creepy, and the second drug that makes me feel like I have an instant sinus infection seemed a little harder to take this time, but at least I knew more about what to expect.
My doctor gave me a different line of drugs for the nausea this time, and while I think they've been helping, they make me really, really drowsy, so I've been sleeping a lot this weekend.
I made it through my first shot yesterday, and my next one is coming up in a couple of hours. My bones are already starting to hurt, mainly just my sternum and my hips so far, but again, at least I know what's coming. I'm dreading getting to the point where even the bones in my fingers hurt, but at least I know it will pass.
Anyway, it's time for another nap, hopefully I can stay awake long enough to see who wins the Olympic hockey game (in OT as I write this, GO USA!), and I'm looking forward to seeing at least some of the closing ceremonies.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and thanks again for all the messages of encouragement and support you all have given us - they really do mean a lot!
Overall, the actual treatment seemed to go better, due in part to the fact that I knew more about what to expect. The creepy red stuff was still creepy, and the second drug that makes me feel like I have an instant sinus infection seemed a little harder to take this time, but at least I knew more about what to expect.
My doctor gave me a different line of drugs for the nausea this time, and while I think they've been helping, they make me really, really drowsy, so I've been sleeping a lot this weekend.
I made it through my first shot yesterday, and my next one is coming up in a couple of hours. My bones are already starting to hurt, mainly just my sternum and my hips so far, but again, at least I know what's coming. I'm dreading getting to the point where even the bones in my fingers hurt, but at least I know it will pass.
Anyway, it's time for another nap, hopefully I can stay awake long enough to see who wins the Olympic hockey game (in OT as I write this, GO USA!), and I'm looking forward to seeing at least some of the closing ceremonies.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and thanks again for all the messages of encouragement and support you all have given us - they really do mean a lot!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
First shot done, at least 19 to go.
Well, I gave myself the first shot. Let's just say I would not make a good drug addict, I don't like those needles at all! But, my mom cheered me on, refused to do it for me when I said I couldn't do it, and helped me get up the courage to just do it. So, it took awhile, but now I know I can do it tomorrow (though I'm still dreading it!). Thanks Mom!
My parents have been with us again this weekend, and we've been so thankful for their help. Not only have they gone to appointments with us and helped us keep track of medicine and such, but they've helped us get caught up on things and get things done that we run out of energy to deal with during the week.
Aside from that, chemo has not left me feeling very well. I have felt pretty nauseous, but the arsenal of drugs that they prescribed have helped a lot. My face is also really flushed, so I look weird. :) I'm not as tired because of the steroids they put me on, but every time I move a new wave of nausea hits, so that's a little frustrating. I am, however, very thankful to have the first chemo injections done with, because now I know what to expect a little bit more next time I go, and it won't be quite so terrifying. This first one is supposed to be the worst, because 1, the unknown factor is terrifying, 2, your body isn't used to it at all, 3, I'm still recovering from surgery. Also, I am still dreading going bald, and that will only be something to dread this first round. That will probably happen late next week.
We're getting very tired, but are holding on to Christ for our hope, our strength, and our comfort. A friend left a comment on an earlier post, and included a verse I have been really holding on to the last couple of days:
I read it right before going into chemo, fell asleep last night thinking about it, and it's been going through my mind today. No matter what, God is right next to me, and that's why I can keep going. When I pass through cancer, and surgeries, and chemo, and shots, God will be with me. He is the Lord MY God, the Holy One of Israel, MY Savior.
That's His promise to me, and I know He will be faithful to keep His word. Praise the Lord for that!
My parents have been with us again this weekend, and we've been so thankful for their help. Not only have they gone to appointments with us and helped us keep track of medicine and such, but they've helped us get caught up on things and get things done that we run out of energy to deal with during the week.
Aside from that, chemo has not left me feeling very well. I have felt pretty nauseous, but the arsenal of drugs that they prescribed have helped a lot. My face is also really flushed, so I look weird. :) I'm not as tired because of the steroids they put me on, but every time I move a new wave of nausea hits, so that's a little frustrating. I am, however, very thankful to have the first chemo injections done with, because now I know what to expect a little bit more next time I go, and it won't be quite so terrifying. This first one is supposed to be the worst, because 1, the unknown factor is terrifying, 2, your body isn't used to it at all, 3, I'm still recovering from surgery. Also, I am still dreading going bald, and that will only be something to dread this first round. That will probably happen late next week.
We're getting very tired, but are holding on to Christ for our hope, our strength, and our comfort. A friend left a comment on an earlier post, and included a verse I have been really holding on to the last couple of days:
Isaiah 43:2-3 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I read it right before going into chemo, fell asleep last night thinking about it, and it's been going through my mind today. No matter what, God is right next to me, and that's why I can keep going. When I pass through cancer, and surgeries, and chemo, and shots, God will be with me. He is the Lord MY God, the Holy One of Israel, MY Savior.
That's His promise to me, and I know He will be faithful to keep His word. Praise the Lord for that!
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