I'm back! Did you miss me? :)

A few people have asked me about the blog and the complete lack of any posts in August.  Sorry guys....it's not that I haven't had anything to say, but I used to write my blog posts when I was too sick to do anything else.....and I guess I just haven't felt that way lately!  Praise the Lord for that!

I'll give the cancer update in a minute, but first, for any Des-Moines/Central Iowa people, my friend Katie's organization, Katie's Crusaders, is hosting a 5K10K walk/run THIS Saturday, and we still need more runners and walkers!  The walk benefits local families, including ours, who are struggling in various stages of breast cancer.  It's held in Waukee, and starts at 8am.  Click here to sign up for the race, or volunteer!  Not only do you get to support a great cause, but you also get a super cool t-shirt. :)

So...here's a quick cancer update.  I am CANCER FREE!  (I think I've already posted that, but it still makes me smile when I type it).  I'm so thankful for that.  My radiation burns are healing and now just look like super weird tan lines.  My bones aren't aching too much anymore, and I'm starting to get some energy back.  I started taking Tamoxifen, which I'll be on for 5 years.  It's not my favorite, but for once (literally, once - this is the only time I can think of for prescription meds), I'm not getting just about every single possible side effect, and the ones I am getting are pretty manageable.  Praise God for that too!  I really prayed for that.  I've seen my oncologist for a follow-up, and she was very pleased with how healthy I was.  I see my radiologist tomorrow so he can check up on my burns.  And, I'll contact my surgeon soon to get my power port removed.  Woo hoo!  Life is good.  Oh - and let's not forget the truly important details - my eyebrows and eyelashes are fully back, and my hair has grown in enough that I've stopped wearing my scarves all together! 

For all of you who were able to make it to my "Kelli's Kicked Cancer" celebration, thanks for coming!  For those who weren't able to make it, I'll tell you that we had a really great time.  It was so much fun to celebrate, and we had such nice weather - it was just a perfect night. Good food, good friends, and a good time! Here's a picture of Dave and I from the party:

And, keep in mind, my hair's had another month to grow since then!  I put a bunch of photos up on Facebook, so check those out too if you're interested.

So, I'll keep going in for follow-ups, and I still will have one more surgery, probably later this fall, but my journey through cancer is starting to wind down.  However, there are very exciting things coming up for us!   With that in mind, I'll keep the blog going, but change the direction of it quite a bit. 

I'll tell you all about the next phase of our lives very soon!  For now, I'm off to clean up the kitchen, run some errands, then teach piano.  Isn't it just wonderful that I can do all that stuff again?

Only 8 treatments left!

I can hardly believe I only have 8 treatments left!  EIGHT!  I am so excited, and really looking forward to being done.  Radiation hasn't been too bad overall, but daily appointments are kind of a pain to schedule around, I'm getting more and more tired, and my skin is burning, which really hurts.  My doctor gave me a burn cream for the painful areas, which I'm hoping will help a lot.  And, even better, I only have 3 more of the treatments that radiate the most painful areas!  After that, I just do 5 "bonus" treatments just at the lumpectomy site, so that shouldn't be too bad.  I do keep burning for up to two weeks after I'm done, so it will get worse before it gets better, but even so, it's nice to have just one part of my body in pain, rather than my entire body.  It's pretty uncomfortable, but nothing even CLOSE to how awful chemo was.

Now for the big news....I have enough eyelashes back to wear mascara again!  I had so much fun with that today.  It's been long enough since I've had enough lashes to wear it that I couldn't even find it for a few minutes, but once I did, I had a blast putting it on!  I think the last time mascara was that fun was when I first started wearing it. 

As you can see at the top of the blog, we're having a "Kelli's Kicked Cancer" party on August 6th to celebrate being DONE with cancer.  For those of you in the Des Moines area who are close enough to come, we'd love to have you!  You can click on the link to view the invite.  If you have any trouble viewing the invite, just email me and I'll get you more info.  We hope you'll join us if you can - we're really looking forward to celebrating, and the more the merrier!

I'm over half way done!!

I'm over half-way done with radiation!  I'm so excited, and really looking forward to being all the way done.  I have 13 treatments left, 8 of which are full treatments, and 5 of which will be only on the lumpectomy site.

I'm starting to get a little burned, and my doctor said that radiation will continue to burn my skin for up to 2 weeks after the treatment, so by mid-August I should start healing and feeling better.  In the meantime, I'm applying coconut oil to the burns all the time, to the point where I'm starting to smell like a day at the beach.  Ah well....at least it's the right season!!

On a more fun note, although radiation makes me tired, it's no where near the awfulness that chemo was, and it's been so much fun to do some "normal" things, even if it's between naps.  This weekend we had a bunch of family over for lunch, and we got to take my grandma back to Omaha.  Here's a photo of 3 generations of the Patterson women:

It was fun to have people over for lunch, and it was fun to spend time with family.  After spending what seemed like such a long time not being able to do much at all, I truly treasure times like these.

God has taught me so much over the last 7 months, and has been so faithful.  Even so, I am really looking forward to getting back to life more fully.
 
Also, though you can't really tell too much in the picture, my EYELASHES are growing back in!  So are my eyebrows, and I am just thrilled beyond words to have them coming back.  I'll never take them for granted again!  Pretty soon I'm going to try wearing mascara again, and I can hardly wait!  My hair is growing back in too - it's not quite half an inch right now, but I've been happy to see that it's growing back in nice and dark.

Please join with me in praying that the burns don't get too bad.  Not only is it pretty uncomfortable, but if they get too bad, I'll have to take a week off of radiation, and I really want to be done on July 29th!

Almost 1/3 of the way through radiation!

It's been awhile since I've posted, so I thought I'd give an update.  I have done 10 of 33 radiation treatments now, so after Monday, I will officially be 1/3 of the way done!  I'm really looking forward to that.  So far, it hasn't been too bad, although my skin is starting to show just the smallest hint of pink on the radiation site.  You can join with me in praying that the burn doesn't get too bad, because if it does, then I will need to take a week off, and I really want to be done by July 29th!  No particular reason, I guess, except that pushing it back a week pushes cancer junk into yet another month of 2010, and I feel that 7 months of this is quite enough!  Maybe even more than enough. :)

Last weekend Dave and I got to go to Minneapolis for my best friend's birthday.  It was the first time we'd taken a trip since all of this started, and while I still took more naps than usual, it was SO MUCH FUN.  Life felt a little more normal, and it was great to celebrate with her!  We also got to squeeze in dinner at my aunt and uncle's house, complete with cousins and kiddos and all.  It was such a refreshing weekend, and so wonderful to be able to spend it with friends and family.

This past week, I had to get bloodwork done.  We all know that I HATE needles, and that still hasn't changed.  In fact, the ONLY person I ever want to touch my port is Leona, from the Cancer Center clinic where I got my chemo.  So, instead of just having someone do it at the hospital where I go for radiation, I asked if I could get it done by Leona instead, to which they said yes.  So, I got to go back to the Cancer Center for something other than chemo!  Let me tell you, that was much more fun.  I got to hand over my sharps container of all my shots, and give the rest of the shots I hadn't taken to the doctor.  WOO HOO!!!  Now the only kind of needles left in my house are the kind used for sewing and knitting.

While I was there, I went back to see if my favorite chemo nurses were there.  And I ran into my friend Katie as well!  We ended up talking for awhile, and the patient that Trish was working with joined in too.   We talked about some of the side effects that we had experienced, and I was even able to give her some tips on make-up that I've used to try to look more "normal." It was SO energizing to be able to help someone else, and it felt so good to finally be in a position where I could say to someone else who looked nervous, "You WILL make it through.  Chemo might be tough, but you WILL be ok."

Also, when I was there, Katie and I were talking more about her non-profit organization that she started, Katie's Crusaders.  The organization was founded (this year, actually!) to help local people fighting cancer who need help with all the medical bills.  I think that's an incredible cause.  I started adding up the cost of all my treatment....without insurance, beating cancer would cost me over 120,000, just using some rough, conservative estimates.  Thankfully, we have insurance, and our costs have been more manageable than that.  Katie's Crusaders is having their first 5k walk/run to raise money for people who are fighting against cancer who don't have insurance.  For all of you in the Des Moines area, I'd love for you to join me!  It's September 18th, and you can register for it here.  Check it out, and you can go on Facebook and invite your friends to come too!

Finally, an update on my hair.  It's still mostly soft fuzz right now, and it's coming in dark!  I think another month, and I might be able to go without my scarves sometimes.  Maybe.  I'm really looking forward to that!  I'm starting to get a few little hairs growing back in my eyebrows, and more eyelashes too!  Both of them are very short, and very fine, so I'm thinking it could be awhile before they're really back.  I'm taking extra vitamins, though, just in case that helps them go faster. :)

With that, I'm off to church.  I am at a point now where I've been able to go every week, and I really treasure that.  It's wonderful to be able to join with others in worship and thankgiving every week.  God has given me so much, and has provided for us in many, many ways!

Breaking News!

Just spotted this evening.....the start of TWO eyelashes!!!! They're both on my right side, and both very small, but I think I see tiny bumps on the left side where they might be starting to grow as well! 

I am so happy I can hardly contain myself!!

Woo hoo!!!!!

I have been radiated...or something like that

Well, 1 down, 32 to go.  Radiation started today, and it wasn't too bad!  I made the horrible mistake of looking at photos online of breast cancer radiation (I will spare you the trauma by not providing links...), and I think they put burn victims there instead of radiation patients....it looked horrifically painful and....just awful.  So, by the time I got to my appointment today, I was half-expecting flames to come shooting out of the machine.  I guess chemo didn't dull my imagination down at all!  Anyway, thankfully there were no flames, and it was pretty low-key.  

I still do not like being strapped down to the board, but this was at least much quicker than the mapping appointments, and maybe by the time I've had 20 of these, I'll be more used to it.  At any rate, it's so much better than chemo that I can't complain too much.  I'll have radiation 5 days a week for 33 days, so I think my last time will be July 29. I'm looking forward to it!

Speaking of chemo, it has been a little over 3 weeks now since my last treatment - and I am so thankful!  Every day, I think about the fact that I am done and and I am so thankful.  I am still very, very tired - even though I get a little bit of energy back as time goes on, I still have to take a lot of breaks.  I still get a little achy more easily, but I think that is in part because I'm moving around a lot more, and my muscles are having to get used to being up off the couch again!  This past weekend, I was able to feel a little bit more like I had a "normal" life - I went out for coffee, ran errands, baked bread and muffins, and did stuff around the house that I had been wanting to do.  Even though I had to rest a lot, it felt so good to be able to do those kinds of things again!

My fuzz is getting longer and thicker - even Dave said he could tell a difference!  I showed the nurse today at radiation, she seemed impressed. :)  It's still pretty light, but I'm still just excited to have anything!  To my dismay, I still have no eyelashes, nor any signs of them coming in, but I'm still looking forward to them coming back.  Hopefully soon.  And, my eyebrows are starting to show signs of coming back in!  They're not here yet, but they're on their way. 

I wish I had some peaches

Well, I had my radiation appointment today.  It went better than I expected!  Dave went with me, which was nice for two reasons.   First, it was nice to have someone else to take in the information and try to remember to ask the right questions.  Second, I got a flat tire on the way to work this morning, so I couldn't have driven myself anyway. 

First, let me say that I really, really like my radiologist.  A lot.  I feel like a human being when I'm in his office, and while that may sound weird, it's means so much to me.  We talked for quite awhile, about side effects, cancer, drugs, etc.  Then we got to the BIG question.  Tattoos.  He said he for sure wanted me to get them, that it was just standard.  Then I had a complete breakdown.  Tears and all.  I tried so hard not to, but I pretty much just lost it.   He was so nice through it all.  I know that some of you may probably wonder why in the world three little grey dots were such a big deal to me, but somehow, they just were.  There have been SO many things out of my control in the last few months.  So many things that I've given up, or have just been taken from me.  I could go through the whole list (like I did today in his office....), but after 9 scars that I couldn't control in the last 5 months, adding 3 more dots was just about more than I could handle.  So....to cut the story short, Dr. I said I could get the sticky things!  To tell you what a big deal that was, the person that did the CT scan said I was one of 2 of Dr. I's patients she'd ever seen get to have the sticky things.  And he's been a doctor for a long time.

The CT scan was super weird.  It wasn't a whole tube that I had to get stuck in, it was shaped more like a giant donut.  But that's not the weird part.  You stuck in a hospital gown, and you have to lay on this bench thing, both your hands have to go above your head and hold on to these handles, and they strap your feet down.  It's to help you hold still, but the combination of it all felt really strange, and kind of vulnerable.  I was still nervous enough, and felt weird enough, that I asked a bunch of questions.  I wondered if there would be a point where I would drive them crazy, but they were really nice. 

Anyway, I have a followup appointment next Thursday to make sure they have all the right places mapped out, then I start actual radiation on Monday the 14th.  I am looking forward to it, because the sooner I start, the sooner I will be DONE!!!

In other news, my hair is starting to grow back!!!!!  It's super fine, and it's only a little tiny bit, but I am ecstatic.  It looks like the fuzz on a peach.  About the same length too, but I'm just thrilled to see anything on my head!  I look at it all the time, and just smile. No eyelashes yet (and I am officially out.  No eyelashes whatsoever) or eyebrow regrowth, but I am hopeful that it will be soon.

I'm still super tired, and sore from my last chemo, but I am slowly feeling a little better.   It's so encouraging just knowing that I don't have to go back for chemo this Friday!  In previous rounds of chemo, I always hated knowing that just when I was starting to feel better, I'd have to go back in to get more drugs.  I can't think of words to describe the relief I feel whenever I think about not having to get chemo this Friday! I'll just keep feeling better and better. 

Also, I have been thinking about the peach fuzz on my head so much that I have now made myself hungry for peaches.  

Round 8 update, radiation, and some rambling....

Well, I'm a few days into round 8, and thought it might be time for an update!  Life is SO much better without the shots!  It was still painful, but the aches and pains resembled more of a really bad case of the flu than the gut-wrenching pain of previous rounds.  I'm still sore, and ridiculously tired, but I am feeling a little bit better each day.  My feet and hands are burning and tingling still, but I'm hoping that will end soon.  And the best news - which I am still absorbing - is that I DON'T HAVE TO GO BACK!!  I don't think the full weight of that has really hit me yet, but it's beginning to. 

I went to my friend's wedding this past weekend.  I spent what seemed like forever figuring out how to put on fake eyelashes (I am down to FIVE eyelashes now.  Sigh...), painting on eyebrows, and getting my wig on, but it was such a treat to feel like I looked sort of normal.  It's really hard to look sick all the time, to have people look at you, like they're trying to figure out what's not quite right - and even if it's all in my head, it's really hard to know that I don't look "normal" most of the time.   With the taxol chemo, it usually didn't hit me until Saturday night, so it was wonderful that her wedding hit at a time when I felt good enough to go! I feel like I've missed out on so much because of cancer, and I was thankful to be able to be there.  Here's a picture of Dave and I (low quality because it was on the cell phone - sorry!).

I start the radiation mapping process on Wednesday of next week - June 2nd.  I don't think it will be too bad - but for some reason I'm kind of nervous.  They said they might have to inject dye into me, and we all know how I feel about needles.  Blech.  I'm hoping that I get the other dye option.  Also, I have to have some kind of scan (I forget which one), but I think it's the kind where you have to lay still and get stuck in a machine.  I'm kind of claustrophobic, so that should be a treat for all involved.  And, we'll have to make the decisions about the tattoos or the really sticky things (you can root for the sticky things with me!). Dave will be with me, and I know God is always with me, so that should help.  And of course, I'll be sure to update you with the details once I find them out!